Celebrating 20 Years Of Hillarity, Hair-balls, and Hoek

That’s right  folks, it was 20 years ago today that Canadian animator/maniac John Kricfalusi warped the minds of 10-12 year olds across the globe.  Never before had toilet humor and outlandish violence been captured so beautifully as it was with the help of an asthma-hound chihuahua and a semi-retarded cat.  But if it wasn’t for the disturbing nonsensical chaos that Ren & Stimpy provided, I probably wouldn’t be the jolly ole Viking that I am today.

Song Of The Day: 5/20/2011

“Macho Man” Randy Savage:  Speaking from the Heart

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

Pour One Out For: “Macho Man” Randy Savage 11/15/1953 – 5/20/2011

While a slew of morons are plastering religious nonsense all over the internet, some rather shocking information elbow-dropped me into my own religious experience….and not in a good way.  It seems the greatest, most meticulous, professional wrestler has signed his contract to wrestle for eternity in the halls of Valhalla.  Today, “Macho Man” Randy Savage passed away.  TMZ has all the details that are known as of now.

Thursday Throwbacks: PHOTON

Remembering things that half the world forgot is one of my many mutant powers (being able to spot a female nipple in one frame of a movie is another one).  Friends contact me at all hours of the night when they get stuck trying to remember something from their child hood, and 90% of the time I have the answer.  It’s that fiendish 10% that gets under my skin.  Every now and then my brain only shows me a few images of things that I should know instantly.  That REEEALLY pisses me off.  But I’m a very patient man.  I know that if I wait long enough (and drink enough booze) the veil will be lifted and the knowledge will be mine.  Today’s “Throwback” took me over 20 damn years, mostly due to a word that will forever haunt me…..PHOTON.

Mortal Kombat Mania: Part II, Legacy

So, as many of my friends are aware, I have been looking forward to the first episode of the new web series, Mortal Kombat: Legacy.  First off, I want to say that I have had a total girl-crush on Jeri Ryan for some time (Voyager brought that on, of course), and while I thought that she might be a little too “mature” to be playing a 20-something Sonya Blade, I thought that she filled the role nicely based on the first episode and she’s as beautiful and intense as ever.  Michael Jai White fills the role of Jax near perfection.  I was ecstatic to see Tahmoh Panikett (Helo in Battlestar Gallactica) as Stryker.  I have to say, I wasn’t super impressed with the choice of Kano for an antagonist, and I was equally turned off by Darren Shahlavi’s (Watchmen) acting, but I’m not blaming him, they couldn’t have picked a worse bad guy to start the series.  What an uninteresting choice?!?!

Thundercats….WHOAAAAAA!!!

Originally I thought this was just going to be a re-telling of my favorite childhood cartoon.  I was bullshit when I thought Lion-O was going to stay looking as a child.  But if this is what I think, and it’s taking place well after the T-Cats have crashed on 3rd Earth, I’m going to be one happy Reptilian.  This looks amazing.

Update:

Starbuck With Starbuck At Starbucks

This photo just made my day.  But since my day is just ending, I should seriously consider looking at this the very second I wake up.

Pour One Out For: Charles Sellier Jr.

Most of the dudes and dudettes of my generation have probably never heard the name Charles Sellier Jr.  Those who have, they know that he was the creator of the early 70’s character Grizzly Adams both in books and for the small screen.  Fans of 80’s horror films know him best as the director of the most controversial holiday slasher film to date, Silent Night Deadly Night.  Me being a huge horror fan, it was a real bummer when I hit up DreadCentral.com this morning and found out that Sallier passed away this past Monday.

Crazy Crap: A Rusty Venture?

Out of all those learned toons, my money’s on Brock Samson.  He seems like an expert on such things.

Christmas Throwbacks (Episode V): Eternia Strikes Back

Tonight’s the night we all get super tanked and pass out early so that Santa can deliver his presents.  But before he makes his way to Earth, he needs to make a pit stop at a planet similar to ours.  A great evil named Horde Prime has learned of the Spirit of Christmas, fearing that it just might be the only thing powerful enough to stop him.  Guys like that make me want to kick them in the jingle balls.

Christmas Throwbacks (Episode IV): A New Pee-Wee

Come on, get up, and quit your nappin’!  It’s a crazy, messed-up place, where anything can happen!  There’s a chair that freakin’ talks (HEY LOOK!), there’s some fish that give advice (HOLY CRAP!)!  It’s screwy…at Pee-Wee’s playhouse!

That place really is nuts; I know, cuz I’ve been there a few times.  But when Christmas time rolls around, some wild shit happens. 

Song Of The Day: 12/23/2010

CONAN: Minty The Candy Cane That Fell On The Ground

If I have to have this damn song stuck in my head for a week, then SO DO YOU!

Christmas Throwbacks (Episode III): Revenge Of The Melmacian

His name is Shumway.  Gordon Shumway.  He is a refugee from the terrible explosion of planet Melmac (a quaint little rock, once located six parsecs past the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster).  Many of his customs are strange to us, like Fappiano and National Rag On The Martians day.  Christmas is one of ours that he can’t quite grasp.

Song Of The Day: 12/22/2010

BATMAN The Animated Series: Christmas With The Joker

HEY!  The Joker’s not suppose to know that song!  That’s OUR song!  And how in the hell did the guards at Arkham let a rocket-tree slip by their ever watchful eyes?

Christmas Throwbacks (Episode II): Attack Of The Taylors

No man in the history of  Sitcom Land takes their neighborhood decorating contest more serious than Tim Taylor.  Everything from “The Three Wise Tool Guys”, to a full sized electric Tim, has a well thought out spot on his roof.  But not everything is all “Holly Jolly” in the Taylor household this year.  It seems the old proctologist across the street has found a way to go decoration for decoration, illuminating his place with near identical ornaments before The Tool Man can set up his.  What a Scrooge McFuck.

Song Of The Day: 12/21/2010

The Year Without A Santa Claus: Snow Miser/Heat Miser

Outside my window is a world of frozen misery to some, winter wonderfulness to others.  Remind me to drop a line to Heat Miser.  His brother needs to be smacked.

Christmas Throwbacks (Episode I): The Roseanne Years

Everyone knows that it’s not the house with the most expensive decorations that makes the holiday season memorable, it’s the tackiest.  Nobody wants to see a mansion engulfed in nothing but white “icicle” lights, 50 foot white tree in the “family room” that no one is allowed to sit in, family from across the country laughing and cavorting, with the kitchen staff of 30 readying the annual holiday fish with all the trimmings.  That’s not what Christmas is all about.  Christmas should be about stringing up empty beer cans, waiting until Christmas Eve to steal a 6 foot/half dead tree from the “closed ’till next year” lot down the street, all while mom and her sisters argue about how to ready a fat 45 pound turkey for it’s date with the oven.  Ah, memories.

Chuck Norris: Texas Ranger (FOR REAL!)

They eyes of The Ranger are upon you.  Any wrong you do he’s gonna see.  When you’re in Texas, look behind you.  Cuz that’s where The Ranger’s gonna be…ready to roundhouse-kick your head right the fuck off!  That’s right, ladies and germs, Chuck Norris has become an honorary Texas Ranger!

Hey bad guys, rapists, kidnappers, and drug lords….here’s just a taste of what’s in store for you:

Heavy Metal Monday: Black N’ Blue

It’s a well known fact that growing up sucks balls.  Most people just suck it up and deal with it.  But there are a few people out there who have that spark inside them; that driving force that says “we’re going places, brother…..BIG places”.  It’s these people that usually make something out of their lives (yet still find themselves staying in mom and dad’s basement well into their 30’s).

What’s their secret?  Where do they find the motivation to continue following their crazy pipe dreams?  I think the boys from 80’s glam band Black N’ Blue have found the answer.

Superman Throws In The Towel

Good thing The Man Of Steel refused to fight.  Mr. T would mop the floor with that good-old-boy.  All it would take is a little green rock strategically placed in one of his gloves, followed by a bowl of his Mr. T cereal, and the fight would be over before it started.