Game Over: The Life & Adventures Of “EVOLVER”

May 20, 2013


The late 80’s and early 90’s were a great time to be a kid.  Computer generated effects were in their infancy, the Nintendo Entertainment System was at its peak, and many awesomely-bad sci-fi movies were being pumped out like no tomorrow.  My favorite brand of those films were the ones based around video games that tried to kill the players for real.  Just think about it.  What if Nintendo had the cojones to instal crazy military programing into Robbie The Robot?  Gyromite would’ve been a hell of a lot more difficult, I tell ya what.  I’ll do you one better.  What if Q from Star Trek: TNG was responsible for programing and designing the robot?  We’d be in for a world of shit.  EVOLVER is about that very thing. Read the rest of this entry »

Crazy Crap: Portal Kombat!!

April 28, 2011

No, this isn’t a real game.  But if it were, it would be the best game of all time….just as long as Kratos shows up to dish out some pain to those disturbingly cute robots.  They seriously need a good roughing up.

Mortal Kombat Mania: Part II, Legacy

April 13, 2011

So, as many of my friends are aware, I have been looking forward to the first episode of the new web series, Mortal Kombat: Legacy.  First off, I want to say that I have had a total girl-crush on Jeri Ryan for some time (Voyager brought that on, of course), and while I thought that she might be a little too “mature” to be playing a 20-something Sonya Blade, I thought that she filled the role nicely based on the first episode and she’s as beautiful and intense as ever.  Michael Jai White fills the role of Jax near perfection.  I was ecstatic to see Tahmoh Panikett (Helo in Battlestar Gallactica) as Stryker.  I have to say, I wasn’t super impressed with the choice of Kano for an antagonist, and I was equally turned off by Darren Shahlavi’s (Watchmen) acting, but I’m not blaming him, they couldn’t have picked a worse bad guy to start the series.  What an uninteresting choice?!?! Read the rest of this entry »

Mortal Kombat Mania: Part I

March 16, 2011

As you all know, I am quite the fan of the Mortal Kombat series.  As the excitement grows for the encroaching release of the game and the new web series directed by Kevin Tancharoen, I find myself with little else on my mind!  In fact, I stayed up till 4am last night playing the newly released demo on the PSN with my room mates who have also been obsessed with the MK series for over a decade.  The verdict?  The only thing that would be more epic than the new Mortal Kombat game would be a viking brandishing a shotgun riding a flying unicorn through space that also craps rainbows (see example below by Sir Mitchell). Read the rest of this entry »

Holy Nerd-Gasm, Batman!

March 16, 2011

This is not the face of a Batman who is a scared of something scary.  No sir!  This is the face of a Batman who just had his Bat-brains blown six ways past Sunday thanks to a video game trailer.  But not just any video game trailer, mind you.  He just finished watching some game-play of the new Arkham City game.  Care to have your face make the same reaction?  Hit the jump and prepare for some sheer kick-assery. Read the rest of this entry »

“TRON LEGACY”: Keeping 1982 Alive

December 17, 2010

Thursday nights are usually nothing special.  I go through my normal routine of wake, whack, and wash, then proceed to loaf around until the working hour arrives.  Not this Thursday.  Some good friends came over for a viewing of the 1982 classic TRON, in preparation for the world premier of the much anticipated sequel TRON: LEGACY.  How did you spend YOUR Thursday?  Drinking with hot college girls?  HA!  What’s that?  You did, huh?  Damn.  Well I’m not here to talk about your night.  My job is to tell the world about my experience watching TRON: LEGACY at 12:05 am on a school night. Read the rest of this entry »

Flawless Victory

September 7, 2010

For 18 years Mortal Kombat has been delighting twisted youth everywhere.  Even though most of that youth has now reached a twisted adulthood, most of those adults still love and enjoy a good fatality.  Originally an arcade game created by Ed Boon and John Tobias (TOASTY!), the franchise was eventually picked up by Acclaim Entertainment, and Midway began releasing MK for the home console all the way up until the recent Mortal Kombat Vs DC Universe.  In 2009, however, the franchise was sold to Warner Bros. who will be releasing the latest game in the series in early 2011.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rev Up Yer Recognizer For The New “TRON LEGACY” Trailer!!

March 11, 2010

Because it’s in my nature to nit-pick, my only issue is with the wall the light-cycles leave in their wake.  I much prefer them to be solid instead of transparent, mostly because of how they were suppose to reflect what the player was seeing in the real world to what we would see in the game world.  But that’s just my nerdly opinion.

Thursday Throwbacks: 1/7/10

January 7, 2010

Protect the weak, defenseless, helpless, and fight for the general welfare of all.  Basic rules to live by when you’re a chivalrous fuck.  Any man of stout heart should have no trouble abiding by these tenants, yet some fumble constantly.  It’s not their fault; no sir.  Damsels in distress cause more bullshit in the life of a knight than there is bacon on a Wendy’s Baconator. Today’s cartoon will prove that very thing. Read the rest of this entry »

Song Of The Day

November 18, 2009

One Winged Angel (metal version)

I’ve never had the time, nor the patience, to play through Final Fantasy VII.  However, this music kicks some serious ass.

Thursday Throwbacks: Halloween Edish

October 29, 2009


Around this time of the year, monsters are given a one day pass to the zany amusement park that is our realm.  To make sure these creatures of chaos don’t recognize us, we dawn fabricated malformations to blend in with the horrific horde.  But what do these life forms do throughout the rest of the year?  RBM sent a team of “volunteers” into the dark places that breed creepy crawlies (closets, under the bed, toilets and what not).  Only one returned, bringing with him information that will astound the scientific community.  Monsters, ghouls, creatures, fiends, and hellions go to school to learn new ways to scare the pants off us. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 10/15/09

October 15, 2009


Imagine, if you will, a world rampant with danger.  A land where turtles have wings, large bullets leer at you as they race towards your doomed ass, and a fire breathing Godzillian dictator sits comfortably in his throne of power.  Sounds like quite the shitty place to spend your well earned holiday time, don’t it?  Well, things weren’t always this bad.  Read the rest of this entry »

Mario Kart Movie Madness

August 31, 2009

If Mario is truly racing in a grand prix, then we should be seeing some haunted mansions and a murderous Rainbow Road.

Thursday Throwbacks: 8/27/09

August 27, 2009


Since the first time Billy Everyteen hooked up his home version of PONG to the family television set, adults that can’t stand to see children enjoy themselves have been professing the dangers of video games.  Even though us “kids” refuse to believe the vicious lies being shoved down our throats, we blindly play for hours on end.  We at RBM have stumbled upon a rather interesting article from the Northridge High School news paper that claims some video games may be extremely dangerous. Read the rest of this entry »

“Tron Legacy” Trailer Gives The Finger To MCP

July 27, 2009

Thank the Gods they changed the title.  Calling a TRON sequel TR2N is monumentally gay.

Crazy Crap: 7/3/09

July 3, 2009

Somebody needs to make an animated movie with this as the plot.  I know plenty of people that would see something this amazing.

Thursday Throwbacks: 6/18/09

June 18, 2009


Monsters of all kinds simply rule.  It doesn’t matter if they be vampires, werewolves, or huge ass mummies.  They continue affect our lives, weather we realize it or not.  Don’t act like you’ve never sat around with yer buddies, asking the age old question, “Who’d win in a fight?”.  I’ve found a show about monsters beating the crap out of one an other, on a regular basis.  Now we can finally see just who the victor would be if The Mummy took on Dracula.  Enjoy Darkstalkers. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 6/4/09

June 4, 2009


Video games…awesome.  Fantasy adventure…more awesome.  Combining both into a Friday afternoon television show, with a dash of wise ass hero…..super stupid awesome.  At the tail end of the 80’s something magical happened to us Nintendo nuts.  All of our most favorite pixelated characters began to come to life; busting their way out of the cartridge hell they were stuck in, and invading our televisions.  Not one of us complained.  It was magical. Read the rest of this entry »

BY THE GODS!!! First Look At “God Of War 3”!!

June 3, 2009


The annual video game/nerd/hotties dressed as fantasy characters convention, famously known as E3, is in full swinging effect.  Gamers from all walks of life have gathered to bear witness to the slew of video madness that will be released in the not to far off future. Read the rest of this entry »

Teenage Mutant X-Box Turtles In Time

May 2, 2009


Hold onto your shells boys and girls, those green sewer surfers are returning to your living room, X-Box style.  Kotaku. com has some news that will make you puke up last week’s pizza:

“Xbox Live Arcade may be getting another serving of heroes on the half-shell, as a 3D remake of arcade fighter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time was shown to hardcore TMNT fans this week.

“The original Konami-developed arcade game is already available on XBLA, but the update to the second appears to be a total revamp, and is currently playable wherever the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 25th anniversary bus tour is traveling.”

Where ever this bus is, it is imperative that everybody track that son of a bitch down.  Turtles in Time was THE BEST turtles game ever!