“Evil Dead” Remake Red Band Trailer

October 24, 2012

Welp…I’m gonna go kill myself.


The Hobbit: A Most Expected Face-Melting

December 21, 2011

It certainly makes my nerd balls swell to know that this film finally got it’s shit together.  Let’s just hope we get to see it before that 2012 prediction comes to fruition.  Damn Mayans.  They should just buy a new damn calendar, if you ask me.  Those things are quite cheap and have cute pictures of cats doing adorable things on them.


Trapped Under Ice: Red-Band Trailer For “The Thing” Prequel

September 20, 2011

Since most dopes think this is a sequel/remake, I’m not as bothered as I should be (mostly due to the fact that I have a brain in my head and know my Carpenter movies).  Even the fact that it was created by the same shit-heads that made the atrocious Dawn of the Dead remake hasn’t deterred me.  This looks like it’s going to be fantastic as hell.  Read the rest of this entry »


Conan: The Dumb-barian

August 20, 2011

No amount of prayers will help your movie, Momoa

Since the colossal success of The Lord of the Rings, studio execs have been trying to bank on the grand-scale epicness perfected by Peter Jackson.  He managed to take the works of Tolkien to a level never dreamed possible while sticking true to the story and pacing them beautifully.  Why other directors can’t follow suit is beyond me.  These days they feel the need to bombard their audiences with quick/random cuts, grand swooping shots from the sky, and random scenarios that seem to say “hey, what do ya think of this?”.  Sadly, the 2011 take on the classic epic Conan: The Barbarian did just that. Read the rest of this entry »


New Terminator Trailer

June 20, 2011

It’s going to be hard for them to top T2, but if you ask me this T-X looks to be one bad ass mother eff.


Pour One Out For: “Macho Man” Randy Savage 11/15/1953 – 5/20/2011

May 20, 2011

While a slew of morons are plastering religious nonsense all over the internet, some rather shocking information elbow-dropped me into my own religious experience….and not in a good way.  It seems the greatest, most meticulous, professional wrestler has signed his contract to wrestle for eternity in the halls of Valhalla.  Today, “Macho Man” Randy Savage passed away.  TMZ has all the details that are known as of now. Read the rest of this entry »


Thundercats….WHOAAAAAA!!!

April 4, 2011

Originally I thought this was just going to be a re-telling of my favorite childhood cartoon.  I was bullshit when I thought Lion-O was going to stay looking as a child.  But if this is what I think, and it’s taking place well after the T-Cats have crashed on 3rd Earth, I’m going to be one happy Reptilian.  This looks amazing.

Update: Read the rest of this entry »


Holy Nerd-Gasm, Batman!

March 16, 2011

This is not the face of a Batman who is a scared of something scary.  No sir!  This is the face of a Batman who just had his Bat-brains blown six ways past Sunday thanks to a video game trailer.  But not just any video game trailer, mind you.  He just finished watching some game-play of the new Arkham City game.  Care to have your face make the same reaction?  Hit the jump and prepare for some sheer kick-assery. Read the rest of this entry »


“Night Of The Demons” 2009: Worst Party EVER!

January 6, 2011

Oh baby Lilly Munster…ain’t got nothin’ on you!

Well, I finally did it.  I got to such an extreme level of boredom that I willingly watched the Night of the Demons remake.  Either this was just a very dull Wednesday, or there is something seriously wrong with my brain.  That’s it.  I’ve gone mental.  Read the rest of this entry »


How To Deal With Christmas Zombies

December 24, 2010

Why must those filthy bastards always show up at the worst possible time?  They should at least have the decency to wait for the pies to be done before they attempt a feeding frenzy.  It’s bad manners on their part.


Grown-Up/Restricted “Your Highness” Trailer

December 14, 2010

Thank you, Universe.  Once again you have created a movie that was tailor made for me and those I nerd around with.  Keep ’em coming, please.

(small request:  more Natalie Portman ass would be much appreciated.)


Official Trailer For “THOR”

December 14, 2010

Because I’m a nerd, something important in this trailer needs to be pointed out.  Did anyone else see Odin magic Mjolnir away from Thor?  Thor is the only one strong enough to even lift that hammer; it’s a known fact.  What does this mean?  Is this the first of many mistakes that await us in this picture?  I sure hope not.  Although, Volstagg didn’t look all that “Voluminous” to me. Read the rest of this entry »


New “THOR” Poster

December 13, 2010

That does it.  It’s time for me to lawyer up and make these pricks stop snapping candid shots of me.  Like, seriously.  All they had to do was ask.  I could’ve given them a much more bad-ass pose than this.  Something tells me I won’t even get any cash for them using my likeness.  But if this film makes people smile and praise the Gods, I’ll be fine with that.


Pour One Out For: Leslie Nielsen 2/11/1926 – 11/28/2010

November 29, 2010

“I know this little, out of the way place, that serves great Viking food.”

I know what you’re thinking:  “Surely you can’t be serious”.  I am serious.  And don’t call me Shirley.  Leslie Nielsen, one of the greatest, if not THE greatest funnyman of all time, passed away yesterday in his sleep due to pneumonia complications.  Boy, I sure picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Read the rest of this entry »


Heavy Metal Monday: THOR

November 1, 2010

Long flowing blond hair, muscles on top of muscles, and a drive to be epic every minute of the day.  No, I’m not talking about myself.  The guy in question is none other than former bodybuilding champion Jon Mikl THOR.  Why this guy isn’t as famous as ManOwaR, I couldn’t tell you.  He’s done it all:  bodybuilding, sings in a superbly cheesy metal band, acts, writes, AND directs.  This man doesn’t fuck around. Read the rest of this entry »


Pour One Out For: Kevin McCarthy 2/15/1914 – 9/11/2010

September 13, 2010

After a mere 4 hours of sleep, I awoke to some rather upsetting news.  Kevin McCarthy, one of the greatest character actors of all time, has died.  These things happen and I’m growing more use to them thanks to the slew of celebrity deaths in the recent years.  But when you’re a man who has uncovered an alien race of plant-people trying to take over the world, helped the government develop a breed of killer piranha that can live in cold water, and attempted to crush a punk kid’s UHF television station, fighting pneumonia in Cape Cod should be a minor inconvenience instead of a curtain call. Read the rest of this entry »


Trailer For AMC’s “The Walking Dead”

August 31, 2010

AMC has found a direct route to my happy button.  Normally any time a television station takes it upon itself to start making it’s own “made for t.v.” movies my eyebrows furrow, my nostrils flare, and an intense need to break something surges through me.  The effect is amplified ten-fold when a t.v. station known for only showing movies decides to make it’s own drama series.  But you can’t possibly go wrong with a zombie themed drama, especially when it’s directed by the dude who made The Shawshank Redemption.  Seriously.  I know cuz Shawshank is fucking amazing.


Poster For Night Of The Demons: A Remake

August 31, 2010

There’s only one proper thing to say about this….EAT A BOWL OF FUCK!


Destructive Drummer For The Donnas Retires

July 13, 2010

Terribly, horrible, no-good, very bad news for all Donnaholics.  Torry Castellano, the fierce cymbal smashing siren of the all girl rock group The Donnas, has been forced into an early retirement.  To quell the flood of concerned questions from their loyal fans, Torry gave a heartfelt explanation on The Donnas official website: Read the rest of this entry »


“The Human Centipede”: Body Art At It’s Best

June 29, 2010

After the more sensitive viewers are done vomiting, I’d like to hear your thoughts.  Everyone else….HOW AWESOME DOES THIS LOOK?!!!