Around this time of the year, monsters are given a one day pass to the zany amusement park that is our realm. To make sure these creatures of chaos don’t recognize us, we dawn fabricated malformations to blend in with the horrific horde. But what do these life forms do throughout the rest of the year? RBM sent a team of “volunteers” into the dark places that breed creepy crawlies (closets, under the bed, toilets and what not). Only one returned, bringing with him information that will astound the scientific community. Monsters, ghouls, creatures, fiends, and hellions go to school to learn new ways to scare the pants off us. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s common knowledge that DirecTV has a history of taking famous movie scenes, and swapping one of the actors with an up-to-date version of them. Normally these advertisements are slightly comical. But how do we all feel about them using the late/great Chris Farley, or any other actor/actress that has gone on to the next world? Read the rest of this entry »
We at RBM recognize true Halloween spirit, especially when it’s sitting spread eagle giving us a good look at it’s dangling unmentionables. Saturday marks that happy dappy time of the year when Ya-Dudes dawn their most macho masquerades, and Super-Duper Sluts strip down to skimpy under garments, only to give you the stink eye when you are spotted drooling over their heaving humps. To make All Hallow’s Eve ’09 one for the record books, us boys at RBM have decided to gunt punch you soldiers of the dead with some heavy ass tunes. Read the rest of this entry »
You just can’t keep a good cop down. Even after a trial full of cover-ups, being sliced to death in a prison shower, returning from the dead to slay those who wronged him, as well as careening off a ship yard pier while driving a paddy wagon with a pole through his chest, veteran police officer/undead sentinel Matt Cordell has returned to clear his good name…by use of deadly force. Read the rest of this entry »
I don’t know what pisses me off more: Jim Gillette’s nonsensical vocals or that idiotic guitar. Is he trying to sound like Rob Halford with a dash of King Diamond? Does he actually think he’s a bad ass for claiming he can break glass, simply by singing? Are all ambidextrous people that arrogant? While I ponder over these valid questions, why don’t you all watch this video from NITRO (a hilarious glam band from L.A. in the 1980’s). Read the rest of this entry »
Guess what fellas, that dude is nailing Lita Ford. Metal Heads around the world just died a little inside, and to make things right…. Read the rest of this entry »
Imagine, if you will, a world rampant with danger. A land where turtles have wings, large bullets leer at you as they race towards your doomed ass, and a fire breathing Godzillian dictator sits comfortably in his throne of power. Sounds like quite the shitty place to spend your well earned holiday time, don’t it? Well, things weren’t always this bad. Read the rest of this entry »
I would like to thank the makers of this film for dumping the equivalent of explosive diarrhea straight into my eyes. Not only does this trailer make a monolithic mockery of Romero’s original film The Crazies, but it also felt the need to squeeze out another foul smelling nugget, time in song form. Mad World set the tone for the ’02 pseudo sci-fi flick Donnie Darko. That’s where it was born, and that’s where it should remain. I don’t need some pretentious film school grad turning a classic horror/thriller movie into something sappy and artistic. This does NOT bode well.
Loud, animated, a sharp dresser, and a habit of wearing rubber bands on his face. These were just a few great qualities that made up the managerial madness that was Captain Lou Albano. A boisterous little fuzzball, Captain Lou lead 15 different tag-teams and 4 solo competitors to golden belt glory. Children and tweens of the 1980’s will remember The Captain best from his appearances in a slew of Cyndi Lauper videos. Yup, that was him scolding her for throwing a party in her bed room. Didn’t he realize that girls just wanna have fun? Read the rest of this entry »
As history has shown us, you don’t have to be clean, sport big hair, be a dude trying to look like a chick, or have a beard that could be used as a belt to be in a metal band. Sure these are great qualities, but sometimes adding a little grime and grossness (or in this band’s case, a lot) to your stage show is encouraged, even glorified. The punk/grunge group L7 is by no means metal, although they do have their moments. Read the rest of this entry »
As children, most of us had the funtastic experience of waiting in long lines, ascending many ramps/stairs, with the soul purpose of getting strapped tightly into seats that were attached to metallic death mobiles. The “fun” came when these death mobiles slowly pulled you up gargantuan hills of wood/metal, gave you a split second flash of your rather short life, then sent you rocketing to your doom down the other side (at speeds that challenge The Flash) while tossing hair-pin turns (and more hills) in your path before safely returning you to your nervous parents. Read the rest of this entry »
Watching Jim Henson’s fabric palls have a mental breakdown will always be mentaly disturbing, some what musical, and be laced with a dash of humor. He may be dead and burried, but his art lives on!
Like horror movies? Like metal music? Well I’ve found an old band that has lots of both. The band is called Disfigurehead and they’ve penned a song about one of the cheesiest films of all time. I speak of that timeless classic, Basket Case. Read the rest of this entry »
Some times some crimes go slipping through the cracks. But these two gumshoes are picking up the slack. There’s no case too big, there’s no case too small, when you need help just call…furry woodland creatures dressed in people clothes. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by defender669 
ohmars.wordpress.com 