Pondering The Aftermath of “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3”

June 7, 2013


There are certain movies that one can watch countless times and never get sick of.  Everybody has their list.  I keep mine in a little box next to my bed.  Half the fun of re-watching these movies isn’t just in the recitation of every line.  No, sir.  The bulk of the enjoyment comes when you notice something brand new in a movie you’ve seen more times than your I.Q. score.  This very thing happened to me quite recently. Read the rest of this entry »

How To Quit A Job: Oh Mars Style

January 13, 2011

If only they knew that Oh Mars gives off the intoxicated look at all waking hours of the day, I guarantee that things would have gone differently for that franchise.  Had they only understood his sense of humor, their pizza would have stopped tasting like shit, we’d be getting Ninja Turtle inspired recipes, and Star Wars would be playing a major roll in their advertising campaign.  No question about it.

We’re Your Boyfriend NOW, Nancy!

October 25, 2010

You wouldn’t believe how many booby-traps we had to dismantle in order to get this.  My chest still hurts from that damn sledge hammer.

Hot Heroines And “Gore”geous Girls: The Art Of David M. Bancroft

September 23, 2010

Gorgeous fantasy women are hard to find.  They need great legs, a killer rack, flat stomach, and hair that lightly tickles their butt-crack.  Capturing such perfection on paper isn’t easy, I know cuz I’ve tried.  But artist/illustrator David M. Bancroft has done just that, I shit you not. Read the rest of this entry »

Pour One Out For: Howard Zinn 8/24/1922 – 1/27/2010

January 29, 2010

written by guest author:  “Professor” John Peabody

Very few people outside of the halls of academia have probably ever heard of Howard Zinn. A professor emeritus of history at Boston University, Zinn suffered a heart attack on the 27th of January in 2010. He died. Nothing greatly exciting about that. Death is boring, except the fact that a person shits their pants when they die. Poop jokes are still funny no matter what age a person is. Read the rest of this entry »

Marshall Bell Has Something To Say

January 3, 2010

We were lucky enough to catch actor Marshall Bell at Monster Mania Con ’09.  Those who are unfamiliar with his work need only watch Airheads, Total Recall, or Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge.  Your lives will be changed forever.

Happy “Some Ass Discovered The Wrong Country Day”!

October 12, 2009


Tough break dicknose.  Smarter, stronger, and much cooler people found “The New World” first!

Crazy Crap: 8/19/09

August 19, 2009

Damn kids.

Crazy Crap: 7/3/09

July 3, 2009

Somebody needs to make an animated movie with this as the plot.  I know plenty of people that would see something this amazing.

Crazy Crap: 7/2/09

July 2, 2009

I think those things are either incubating Ninja Turtles, or the spawn from Species 2.  What are your thoughts?

Heavy Metal Monday: 6/29/09

June 29, 2009


I can barely type due to a major sunburn, so I’m going to make this short and to the point.  Here’s a video from KISS: Read the rest of this entry »

Pour Another One Out For Michael Jackson: 8/29/58 – 6/25/09

June 25, 2009


What in the hell is going on today?  Seriously.  First Farrah, now MJ?  I don’t normally need an excuse to drink on a Thursday, but if ever there was a great one it just kicked me in the face.  Here’s what Yahoo has to say: Read the rest of this entry »

Pour One Out For Farrah Fawcett: 2/2/47 – 6/25/09

June 25, 2009


Even though Farrah had been vigorously battling a rather unpleasant cancer, and it was known that this was inevitable, it doesn’t change the fact that it still sucks.  If you want the icky details about what cancer she had, just go to CNN and read ’till your eyes fall out.  I will be using my orbs to memorize every inch of this photo.

Epic Tippage

June 24, 2009


This one goes out to all you hard working waiters/waitresses, bartenders, and barristas.  From Yahoo:

Johnny Depp has previously said that money isn’t the key to happiness.  But during a visit to a Chicago restaurant, the star certainly brought joy to one unsuspecting waiter with a reported sizable tip.

Once the bill came around 2:30 AM — totaling up to a reported $4,400 — Depp made sure the man who waited on the group into the late hours was well compensated for his time, as Mohammaed A. Sekhani reportedly received a $4,000 tip from the star.”

If only all people were that awesome.

“Get The F*ck Out Of My Face”: A Bruce Campbell Q&A

June 20, 2009


Last weekend, I attended Monster-Mania Con in Connecticut, and a major mistake was made on my part.  Because I was more focused on autograph collecting, swag purchasing, and alcohol consuming, I missed the many celebrity Q&A sessions that were held throughout the convention; a decision that haunts me still.  All is not lost, however.  People who decided to get the most out of their weekend got video of the Bruce Campbell Q&A and plastered it up on YouTube.  Thank the Gods!   I now bring the laughs that I missed out on into your lives, but you must follow the jump first. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 6/18/09

June 18, 2009


Monsters of all kinds simply rule.  It doesn’t matter if they be vampires, werewolves, or huge ass mummies.  They continue affect our lives, weather we realize it or not.  Don’t act like you’ve never sat around with yer buddies, asking the age old question, “Who’d win in a fight?”.  I’ve found a show about monsters beating the crap out of one an other, on a regular basis.  Now we can finally see just who the victor would be if The Mummy took on Dracula.  Enjoy Darkstalkers. Read the rest of this entry »

Scattered Remains, Splattered Brains: Monster-Mania Con ’09 In Review

June 15, 2009

“Dark gray clouds hovered on the horizon.  A crisp summer breeze wafted through the strawberry-blond locks set atop the warrior’s head, as he readied adventuring gear.  His mind went over the list of supplies that stumbled around in his booze soaked skull; a side effect from the night before.  All that was left was to meet up with his traveling companion, Wooster Of The Hill People, and the long trek could begin.  The warrior steeled his gaze at the road ahead of him.  It was time.  Monster-Mania Con had come.”

Monster-Mania Con 6 12-6 14 2009 096

After months of preparation, I took off to Connecticut to spend the weekend at a horror convention.  Nothing in my wildest dreams could have prepared me for what the Gore Gods had in store for me.  My buddy Wooster and I continually bounced total baffoonery off one another, loud music rocked the air around us, while questions of what lay ahead of us were tossed around, and this was just the first day! Read the rest of this entry »

RBM Gives Robert Englund Crazy Nightmares

June 14, 2009

Kung Fu THIS, Bitch! \m/

Pour One Out For: David Carradine 12/8/36 – 6/3/09

June 4, 2009


Just when I thought today was going to kick some stellar ass, I find some terribly awful no good very bad news.  Renowned actor David Carradine has died.  I know.  Fucking sucks!  Here’s what Yahoo found out about this travesty, but I warn you…you may not like what you’ll learn. Read the rest of this entry »

Prick Of The Month: June 2009

June 1, 2009


“Shooter’s not about to let his reign at the top be spoiled by some freak sideshow clown.”

Cocksure, sleazy, arrogant, and a not so sharp wit with the pants to mach, golfing “great” Shooter McGavin oozes prickery on the course as well as off.  His only goal in life is to obtain the coveted Championship Golden Jacket and he will stop at nothing to get it.  Read the rest of this entry »