Since most dopes think this is a sequel/remake, I’m not as bothered as I should be (mostly due to the fact that I have a brain in my head and know my Carpenter movies). Even the fact that it was created by the same shit-heads that made the atrocious Dawn of the Dead remake hasn’t deterred me. This looks like it’s going to be fantastic as hell. Read the rest of this entry »
Waiting for the hype of new films to die out is kind of my thing. I stress out enough thinking about how much of my gut is sticking out of the bottom of my t-shirt, so spending two hours in a packed theater with hormone riddled high schoolers and overly excited nerds is something I can do without. Every now and then a film gets released that requires me to dawn my armor and venture forth, but Jennifer’s Body wasn’t one of ’em. Read the rest of this entry »
“Oh baby Lilly Munster…ain’t got nothin’ on you!“
Well, I finally did it. I got to such an extreme level of boredom that I willingly watched the Night of the Demons remake. Either this was just a very dull Wednesday, or there is something seriously wrong with my brain. That’s it. I’ve gone mental. Read the rest of this entry »
Halloween time has snapped its rotting head in our direction, and boy is my DVD collection running for the hills. While most people are torturing their young with new and horrific ways to cram them into mom-made animal/object/food costumes, I’m busy mutilating my horror movie section for a night of gore-filled bliss. Read the rest of this entry »
You wouldn’t believe how many booby-traps we had to dismantle in order to get this. My chest still hurts from that damn sledge hammer.
“Do you ever FANTASIZE..about being KILLED?”
“MORE OF THIS MONSTER MANIA CRAP?!“. Yes. More of this Monster Mania crap. I wasn’t kidding when I said a ton of stuff happened at this thing, and trying to fill all you maniacs in on it all is a lot of work. Being sick for an entire week didn’t help matters much, either. But never the less, let’s get on with it. Read the rest of this entry »
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince: Nightmare On My Street
Despite the lyrics referring mostly to Nightmare 2 and the total lack of swear words, this song rules. It super sucks that the very end gets cut off right before Freddy says, “I’m your DJ now, Princie!“. But what can you do? The version I have on my iPod has the wrong words, so count yourself lucky.
“We”re the Dream Warriors! We can be heroes inside of our dreams!“
Yes, I know those aren’t the correct lyrics to the song Dream Warriors by 80’s hair band Dokken. But did YOU know that that’s what they were going to be? Watch the Nightmare on Elm Street documentary Never Sleep Again. You just might learn a few things you never new before. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah.
A rockin’ reunion took place at Monster Mania Con 16 last Saturday night, and I was in the very front row to witness it all. I actually hesitated to buy the VIP wristband, a thought that makes me want to jump in front of The Wizard Master’s green laser-beams. The Return of the Living Dead Q&A had just ended, and I was literally giddy like a school girl for the reunion I’d been waiting many months to see: the cast of Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. Read the rest of this entry »
Gorgeous fantasy women are hard to find. They need great legs, a killer rack, flat stomach, and hair that lightly tickles their butt-crack. Capturing such perfection on paper isn’t easy, I know cuz I’ve tried. But artist/illustrator David M. Bancroft has done just that, I shit you not. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the many amazing things that went down this weekend took place in Hunt Valley, Maryland. The 16th Monster Mania Con was full of horror icons, hula hooping babes, laughs, and lots of liquor. On top of all the chaos, Monster Mania President Dave Hagan arranged some kick ass events. Read the rest of this entry »
AMC has found a direct route to my happy button. Normally any time a television station takes it upon itself to start making it’s own “made for t.v.” movies my eyebrows furrow, my nostrils flare, and an intense need to break something surges through me. The effect is amplified ten-fold when a t.v. station known for only showing movies decides to make it’s own drama series. But you can’t possibly go wrong with a zombie themed drama, especially when it’s directed by the dude who made The Shawshank Redemption. Seriously. I know cuz Shawshank is fucking amazing.
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! You have been warned.
11 a.m. is the perfect time to see a movie at the movie theater. Everyone else is either at work trying to earn enough cash to buy their little brats the latest Pokemon cards, or in school expanding their minds. When it’s that early in the morning, tickets are $6 and the sparkling clean men’s room is just begging for that first shit of the day. Since I aim to please, I did not disappoint. Read the rest of this entry »
You just can’t keep a good cop down. Even after a trial full of cover-ups, being sliced to death in a prison shower, returning from the dead to slay those who wronged him, as well as careening off a ship yard pier while driving a paddy wagon with a pole through his chest, veteran police officer/undead sentinel Matt Cordell has returned to clear his good name…by use of deadly force. Read the rest of this entry »
Kung Fu THIS, Bitch! \m/
With only a select few horror films at the ready (moving blows), there’s only so much that can be done when it comes to reviews. Today we’re going to take a look at The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and try to decide if the re-make can stand toe-to-toe with the original.
For some reason, every movie that I’ve been watching is f’n sweet to the max. They all have original stories, even though the subject matter has been done over and over again. Tonight’s brain blaster was An American Werewolf In London.