Thursday Throwbacks: 10/15/09


Imagine, if you will, a world rampant with danger.  A land where turtles have wings, large bullets leer at you as they race towards your doomed ass, and a fire breathing Godzillian dictator sits comfortably in his throne of power.  Sounds like quite the shitty place to spend your well earned holiday time, don’t it?  Well, things weren’t always this bad. 

There was a time when the corporate giants of The Mushroom Kingdom encouraged vacationers to live a life of adventure, for a respectable fee.  Many a traveler could enjoy endless hours of cloud level vine climbing, Goomba bowling, not to mention scuba diving in their many fish filled water ways.  But those days are in the past.  C.E.O. and all around bitch “Princess” Peach Toadstool, has been captured by King Koopa (or Bowser to those who don’t wish to die a most horrible death).  He has issued a challenge to all blue-collar union workers stating that if all don’t bow to his empiric will, the “Princess” will be killed and pink-slips will be handed out.  Mario Mario and Luigi Mario, two hard working plumber brothers from Italy, say different.  This is their tale.

Neatness Counts/The Bird! The Bird!

Day of the Orphan/King Mario of Cramalot

All Steamed Up/Butch Mario and The Luigi Kid

Marianne & Luigeena/Mario’s Magic Carpet

The Mario Monster Mash/Rolling Down The River

After countless meetings with union stewards, contract negotiations, and the ocasional firework display of victory, Bowser met his untimely demise at the hands of The Mario Brothers.  News papers report that Mario Mario (the elder of the two pipe adjusters) dumped the reptilian republican into a pit of flames below the Toad Memorial Suspension Bridge, after a heated discussion on worker rights and sick time benefits.  No charges have been filed at this time.


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