Let’s Get LOST: “The End”

SEVERE SPOILER ALERT:  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

That’s it, that’s it, it’s all over.  Pack it up boys.  That’s the end of The Shredder.  After 6 long years of brain-aches, arguments with friends over theories, countless amounts of unanswered questions and leaked facial water, the television phenom LOST has moved on to join other amazing shows in the realm of final episodes. 

Let’s Get LOST: “Ab Aeterno”

I don’t mind going to watch LOST at Cinema Salem with my friends, in fact I love it.  What I don’t love is when my friends strategically choose their seats so I end up behind the largest cranium in the theater.  But even with Lord Large Lobes obstructing my view of the screen, last week’s all Alpert episode was the bee’s knees.

Let’s Get LOST: “RECON”

We only have a few short hours until tonight’s new episode, so I might as well re-cap what we saw last week.  Perhaps now is a good time to reflect on how monumentally lazy I am?  Maybe I should buckle down and bang out more entertaining posts for you people?  Nah.  I’ll do it later.  It’s LOST time.

Let’s Get LOST: “DR. LINUS”

What a great episode.  Entertainment could be found in BOTH realities this week, and there wasn’t a dude with a planet sized head sitting in front of me either!  I got the full screen AND a hot blond girl who’s butt crack showed every time she stood up!! Stomach bug aside, life is grand.

Let’s Get LOST: “Sundown”

Sitting by yourself in a movie theater watching LOST is fucking awesome, even if it is last week’s Pop-Up Video re-play.  I got a good 20 minutes of tranquility before people started to trickle into Salem Cinema, and boy did I enjoy those 20 minutes.  *wink wink*

With some good friends by my side, my eyes prepared themselves for what I had hoped to be a mind blowing episode.  But thanks to some ass-face with a watermelon head, the experience wasn’t all that great for me.  No amount of head crushing helped my situation, so I was only able to soak up portions of this Sayid centric installment.

Crazy Crap: The LOSTIES

Well it looks like we don’t need to wait for the series finale of LOST to find out what happens to the 815ers.  The Island gets moved again and ends up in Springfield.  Think of the wacky adventures that are sure to take place!

Let’s Get LOST: “The Lighthouse”

Awesome.  Things are starting to move along at a good clip.  Last night was chalk full of Jack redemption, jungle bunny Claire, Jacob manipulation, and that super funny Old Spice commercial with that ripped black dude holding an open oyster shell with “two tickets to that show she likes” inside.

Crazy Claire and Jack were the focal points of last night’s episode.  I’m gonna start with Claire cuz she’s just too damn cute for words.

Let’s Get LOST: “The Substitute”

Ah, answers.  I like ’em almost as much as I liked seeing what it would be like to be the smoke monster flying around The Island (that was dope).  Tonight totally made up for last week’s lack luster Kate and Claire romp, while still throwing in a few irritating questions.

Let’s Get LOST: “What Kate Does”

We’re now a good 3 episodes deep into the final season of LOST.  The double whammy from last week’s premiere sent my brain into overload, resulting in no review.  It can only handle so many long awaited answers until it goes into sleep mode.  With that being said, let’s get LOST.

Date Of Final “LOST” Episode Revealed!

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse rapped a bit with Jimmy about the premier episode of LOST: The Final Season.  Many a funny word was spoken, but nothing was more mind blowing than the JARHEAD bomb they dropped on our laps at the end of the interview…

Crazy Crap: “LOST” Poster

The show that has more people deep in theory debates than the nut-bars of Area 51, is drawing to a close.  In honor of this sad yet relieving event, I have decided to display this rather bitchin’ LOST poster. 

LOST: “Real Time” 815 Crash

Why does this video make me want to watch something with Kiefer Sutherland in it?

Ben Linus + Little Boy Blue = Creepy As Hell!

I know that by just seeing Jimmy “the frak-face” Fallon it takes severe restraint to stop yourself from punching your monitor (my fist came about an inch from colliding with that annoying little prick’s face).  But seeing as how tonight gives us our over due dose of LOST, this seemed appropriate.  Now, have fun getting uncreepified before tonight’s episode.  It will probably take all day to rid that feeling from your mind.

Monday Morning Wood

The RBM 6th Month Anniversary Party (and Sleepover and Breakfast) was a night of dancing, drinking, bacon-wrapped-scallops, and violence. One of our temps, Kehley, took a grip of pictures, maybe we’ll post them later. Probot and I failed at the Run DMC-kick-dance and I threw my diamond watch at an annoying kid (don’t worry, I got it back). May we never hire DJ USA again.

Spoiler Alert: Okay. Season 4.5 of Battlestar premiered on Friday night and as incredible as it was, I really don’t want Helen to be the fifth Cylon. She’s been out of the picture for two years and Tigh has grown so much as a character since then. And what about Starbuck burning her own body, prviding one of the most eerie images in BSG history. The suicide of D was insane, but at least she died happy. Her death also led to two of the most tense scenes ever: Lee and Adama’s talk in the morgue and Adama’s confrontation with Tigh. Shit, I need to go watch it again…

I’ve never been into movies about boy wizards, I’m more of a farmboy Jedi man myself, but this Japanese Harry Potter fansite managed to knick tons of new images from Half Blood Prince. Ch-ch-check it out here, nerds.

While battling strep throat on Saturday night, I made it out to see the new Lifetime original movie, Notorious. Check out my review of it here. If you live in trigger-happy Greensboro, NC, you can’t see the movie. A man was shot in the lobby and the actor who plays Biggie, James Woolard, happened to be in the theater. Whether this is connected or not hasn’t been confirmed yet, but they will no longer be showing the movie. There have not yet been any shootings related to Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Pour One Out For: Bob May, the actor inside the Robot suit from the ’60s show Lost in Space, died on Sunday of congestive heart failure at the age of 69. From Yahoo! News:

He was a veteran actor and stuntman who had appeared in movies, TV shows and on the vaudeville stage when he was tapped by “Lost in Space” creator Irwin Allen to play the Robinson family’s loyal metal sidekick in the series that debuted in 1965.

He went on to appear in numerous films with Jerry Lewis and in such TV shows as “The Time Tunnel,” “McHale’s Navy and “The Red Skelton Show.” He was also a stuntman in such 1950s and ’60s TV shows as “Cheyenne,” “Surfside 6,” “Hawaiian Eye,” “The Roaring 20s” and “Stagecoach.”

LOST this Wednesday!!! LOST this Wednesday!!! LOST this Wednesday!!!

The RBM offices are officially closed today for MLK day.

Sawyer is Balls Deep in Season 5

Hey freckles, shaddap and listen to this: executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof have fessed up to how Sawyer took a back seat during the fourth season and commented that during season 5:

“…will he get the screen time he deserves? “We really feel it’s the year of Sawyer,” says Lindelof. “He’s really stepping up in a major way.” (Source)

Awesome. AWE-some. Sawyer is one of the best characters on television and his moment MURDERING Locke’s father (the addressee of the infamous letter) was one of the greatest events in modern TV history. Season 5 is right around the corner and I personally couldn’t be more excited. Well, I guess I could but I accept the order of things. 21st, turn ya cell phones off!

Monday Morning Wood

Cinemablend has posted their review of the season 5 premiere of Lost. I aint afraid of no spoiler so I read it and I think Lost fans are going to go to bed happy on the 21st. Spoiler Alert: Sawyer doesn’t wear a shirt! 😉

EW has some new photos from Where the Wild Things Are, Public Enemies, Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation, and the remake of Taking of Pelham 1-2-3, one of my favorite 70s crime movies. My good friend Denzel Washington suggested that for the remake, his character should be demoted from cop to dispatch operator. So that way,

”He’s not a guy familiar with weapons,” explains Washington. ”So when he’s put in the middle of this hostage situation, he’s in over his head.”

Why does a dispatcher get put into the middle of a hostage situation? My mother is a police dispatcher and I never realized how dangerous her job is. But if I was the perp, I’d be shitting myself.

Remember playing with Hot Wheels as a kid? They were pretty fun and made great skateboards for when GI Joe had to go on those extreme missions. Variety reports that Mattel feels a Hot Wheels movie would be a lucrative idea. Barry Waldo, VP of marketing for Mattel, states that they would not be making the cars characters (like in the Pixar smash Cars, which shit money). Instead, I think they should make a movie called Hot Soap Box Kids.

Pour one out for: Jett Travolta, son of John, who was found dead in a bathtub in his family’s Florida home on Friday morning. Jett suffered from Kawasaki disease, which leads to inflammation of the blood vessels in young children. I could never make a joke about parents having to bury their child but read more here.

StarWars.com posted their Best of 2008 list and at number three is the resurfacing of Rusty Miller, who wrote “The Jedi Master’s Quizbook” in 1983 at age 11. Since the publication of the book, Rusty is living in the real world, has gone on to work as a paramedic, and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in emergency and disaster management, completely turning his back on Star Wars. Even has a wife. Fucking loser.

The whistling orangutan will change everything you thought about orangutans.

Funny or Die has posted a classic clip from the sitcom Mystique and Me, starring Jerry O’Connell. You remember this show, right? This nug is from the episode where Mystique is preggers and pissed because her fetus won’t shape-shift. I saw it on Nick at Nite a few months back.

The sweetest Alien toy in years is now available for preorder at Big Bad Toy Store. It’s only $99.99! Ever since I got a desk job, I look at toys in relation to how cool they’re look in my cubicle.

Interview has a great interview (no shit!) up with director John Waters, who I’m not a huge fan of but I think he’s an interesting cat. Did you know he used to have his own show on Court TV? Me neither:

I had a show on Court TV called ‘Til Death Do Us Part. Every week it was about real married couples who killed one another. I was kind of like the Rod Serling or the Alfred Hitchcock, making snide comments. I was the narrator, too. I’m right in the middle of negotiating the renewal of the show, but the channel is now called truTV. When they called me up, I was like, “Is it all about Truman Capote now?”

Another F*cking LOST Promo

ABC has released another promo for season 5 of LOST (23 more days to go!). How far would you go for love? Would you murder? Would you risk the life of a child? What would you do if your son was at home? Crying all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he’s hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money. Huh, smart guy?

They Really Have to Get Back to That Island

Here’s a new LOST promo that has started running on ABC. They have to go back to the island. I get it. A lot of people want to know why, but the big question for me is how the hell they’re going to get back. Google Earth? The island vanished!!! It took a few pauses, but the computer screen at the last second flashes “EVENT LOCATION DETERMINED.” See, we do all the hard work for you.

January 21 ya’ll, get psyched!!!

More LOST Footage; Ben Still Full of Shit

ABC released some more footage of the LOST season 5 premiere, “Before You Left.” This minute and a half features Jack and Ben talking about the recession and those left behind on the island when it moved. Ben is obviously yanking Jack’s chain about not knowing anything. Last time Ben played stupid, a dead polar bear ended up in my driveway. You know how much a polar bear weighs? Add like, 200 more pounds of dead weight.

If you missed the first batch of footage featuring Kate and some lawyers, check it out here.

Lost Season 5 Sneak Peek; Hang the Lawyers

ABC has released a two minute sneak peak of the season 5 premiere of Lost, “Because You Left”, which airs on Wednesday, January 21st 2009. Just these quick two minutes delivers even more questions for Lost fans to lose sleep over. Awesome.