Let’s Get LOST: “The Substitute”

Ah, answers.  I like ’em almost as much as I liked seeing what it would be like to be the smoke monster flying around The Island (that was dope).  Tonight totally made up for last week’s lack luster Kate and Claire romp, while still throwing in a few irritating questions.

First:  Sideways Locke seems more miserable than ever, despite the fact that Helen “Peggy Bundy” McAwesomepants is back.  The dude vaulted off his broken wheelchair van mechanism, fell face first into a pile of poopie (he didn’t actually fall into poopie, but that would’ve added to his misery), gets dumped on my angry sprinklers, the douche at his office fires him, Sideways Hurley parks is dumb Hummer so S Locke can’t get in his van, gets sassed by Sideways Rose at an interview set up by S Hurley (I’m really liking the amount of power that dude’s wielding), then has Sideways Ben school him in the ways of proper coffee crafting etiquette on the same day he’s roused by the hatch alarm (that’s right).  On top off all that, we find out he didn’t even go on the Walkabout!!! What a monumentally shit day.  How is he gonna deal with all that with no more faith?

Second:  Not Locke is on a recruiting rampage, apparently.  Richard was a no, as to be expected.  But after finding a plastered Sawyer chillin’ to the musical stylings of Iggy Pop and the Stooges, Not Locke convinced Sawyer to follow him to what I am hence forth calling “The Name Cave”, after a brief encounter with a freaky blond kid who looks a lot like a child version of Jacob.  Hmm.  While in The Name Cave (damn I like that), Not Locke revealed WHY everyone is on the island.  It seems they are all “candidates” to be the new Jacob; at least that’s what Not Locke says.

Letter C:  Why in the crap was the freaky blond Jacob-like kid sanding like a crucified Jesus while in the jungle?  Seriously.  He was standing in a bright light, arms stretched out to the sides, with his head looking up.  Fucking strange.

Number 4:  What was the deal with Ilana gathering Jacob’s ashes?  Will those be used to take down Not Locke?

With all these questions still needing answers, it’s nice to know a few cool things.  For starters, Not Locke/Smoke Monster can’t take the form of any other dead people now (at least, that’s what Ilana claims).  Then there’s the whole thing with the numbers in The Name Cave.  Let’s see if I have this correct:

4 = Locke

8 = Reyes

15 = Ford

16 = Jarrah

23 = Shepherd

42 = Kwon?

I could be wrong on all of these, but I wonder what they mean?  The combination to Jacob’s luggage?  Plus, there was no Kate.  Why?!  Looks like we’ll have to keep watching to find out.  Later tatters!

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2 Responses to Let’s Get LOST: “The Substitute”

  1. T-Bone says:

    Sawyer was listening to Iggy Pop and the Stooges “Search and Destroy”, although the song was more appropriate to not-Locke. The world’s forgotten boy, indeed.
    My money is on the kid being Aaron.

  2. defender669 says:

    dude, good theory. I like it.

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