Trailer For “Transformers: Dark Of The Moon”.

December 21, 2010

Am I the only one who thinks that ship looks like the Ark?  Cuz it looks a lot like the Ark.


Monday Morning Wood

January 5, 2009

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Cinemablend has posted their review of the season 5 premiere of Lost. I aint afraid of no spoiler so I read it and I think Lost fans are going to go to bed happy on the 21st. Spoiler Alert: Sawyer doesn’t wear a shirt! ;)

EW has some new photos from Where the Wild Things Are, Public Enemies, Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation, and the remake of Taking of Pelham 1-2-3, one of my favorite 70s crime movies. My good friend Denzel Washington suggested that for the remake, his character should be demoted from cop to dispatch operator. So that way,

”He’s not a guy familiar with weapons,” explains Washington. ”So when he’s put in the middle of this hostage situation, he’s in over his head.”

Why does a dispatcher get put into the middle of a hostage situation? My mother is a police dispatcher and I never realized how dangerous her job is. But if I was the perp, I’d be shitting myself.

Remember playing with Hot Wheels as a kid? They were pretty fun and made great skateboards for when GI Joe had to go on those extreme missions. Variety reports that Mattel feels a Hot Wheels movie would be a lucrative idea. Barry Waldo, VP of marketing for Mattel, states that they would not be making the cars characters (like in the Pixar smash Cars, which shit money). Instead, I think they should make a movie called Hot Soap Box Kids.

Pour one out for: Jett Travolta, son of John, who was found dead in a bathtub in his family’s Florida home on Friday morning. Jett suffered from Kawasaki disease, which leads to inflammation of the blood vessels in young children. I could never make a joke about parents having to bury their child but read more here.

StarWars.com posted their Best of 2008 list and at number three is the resurfacing of Rusty Miller, who wrote “The Jedi Master’s Quizbook” in 1983 at age 11. Since the publication of the book, Rusty is living in the real world, has gone on to work as a paramedic, and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in emergency and disaster management, completely turning his back on Star Wars. Even has a wife. Fucking loser.

The whistling orangutan will change everything you thought about orangutans.

Funny or Die has posted a classic clip from the sitcom Mystique and Me, starring Jerry O’Connell. You remember this show, right? This nug is from the episode where Mystique is preggers and pissed because her fetus won’t shape-shift. I saw it on Nick at Nite a few months back.

The sweetest Alien toy in years is now available for preorder at Big Bad Toy Store. It’s only $99.99! Ever since I got a desk job, I look at toys in relation to how cool they’re look in my cubicle.

Interview has a great interview (no shit!) up with director John Waters, who I’m not a huge fan of but I think he’s an interesting cat. Did you know he used to have his own show on Court TV? Me neither:

I had a show on Court TV called ‘Til Death Do Us Part. Every week it was about real married couples who killed one another. I was kind of like the Rod Serling or the Alfred Hitchcock, making snide comments. I was the narrator, too. I’m right in the middle of negotiating the renewal of the show, but the channel is now called truTV. When they called me up, I was like, “Is it all about Truman Capote now?”


When Food Fights Back

November 27, 2008

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You better watch yer ass when feasting later today, because one of those juicy legs might just turn around and bust you in your grill.  Beware of Lieutenant Leg!


For the Trophy Case; 12-Inch Han Solo in Carbonite

November 7, 2008

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Sideshow Collectibles is now taking preorders for their incredible 12-Inch Han Solo in Carbonite ($199.99). The detail on this puppy is insane, even on the palace wall it’s resting on. Between this and the GI Joe Mighty Muggs, my cubicle is going to be beyond dope.

The piece is constructed of highest quality materials, incuding heavy-weight polystone, then hand painted and hand-finished to Sideshow’s exacting standards. Han in Carbonite is suspended from the palace wall display using a single pin and magnet system, and can be removed from the wall for additional display configurations.

Check out more pics after the jump.

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King Grayskull: Force Master?

October 23, 2008

Because being stupidly wealthy only happens to a select few, many of us have to save for an entire year for big trips. But there are some who are lucky enough to hit Comic con after Comic con, and that just plain makes me sick. If it wasn’t for the fact that they are nice enough to share their findings with the rest of us, I’d track them down and try some of that “identity theft” I’ve been hearing so much about.

Like everything else from the days of blissful ignorance, He-Man has made a roaring comeback. Toys and a re-vamped cartoon have rocked my sox, but never did I expect to see this…

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Trappings of Nostalgia — Bucky O’Hare

October 21, 2008

My first electronic communication occured in ’91 via Prodigy. My family had the internet for around three days and so far all I had done with it was play some text-based role playing game which did nothing but confuse me. But this particular night I had decided (with my mother’s blessing) to enter a chat room. There had been murmurs around the lunch table about these mystical places where kids in north Jersey could talk to kids in northwest Jersey and I had to experience this awakening of communication. As I entered the chat room with bated breathe, I wondered what secrets awaited me: how to unscramble Cinemax where did Dad hide his BB gun what did NWA stand for was the lunch lady really an ex-con? I sat there and watched text appear magically on the screen; trying to get a feel for it all. I deduced that the others were my age or a little older and there was a conversation going on about action figures. I thought, “perfect.” My gateway. My fingers slowly typed:

“Does anyone collect Bucky O’Hare?”

I leaned back and smiled. Hello world, meet Patrick Cooper, a real toy collector. A few seconds later, someone replied:

“Fuck Bucky O’Hare.”

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Obama Custom Figures

October 20, 2008

The ART + ACTION = OBAMA 08 group customs show began on October 17 at the Showroom in NYC. Toys R Evil posted several photos of the customs (we posted the Suckadelic custom last week). Politics make us vomit round here, but these are pretty awesome. Check the Ultraman! More photos available here.

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Chuck Norris & the Karate Kommandoes are Going to Run a Train on the New Twilight Action Figure

October 17, 2008

Because there is truly a lack of news today that I care about.

Hey there sissy. What you got in your mouth there, sissy?

Make it quick. Express closes at 9:00.


Darth Maul VCD

October 16, 2008

The formula for making anything adorable is shrink the body, blow up the head and hands, and make it smell like vinyl. Sideshow Collectibles is now taking pre-orders for their Darth Maul vinyl collectible doll, or VCD. We don’t collect dolls, now do we? They also have an R2 VCD coming out at the same time which God is forcing me to buy. I don’t make the rules, folks.


Spuds in Satan’s Service

October 14, 2008

These are real and they are coming from Hasbro. An attachment for Simmons’ Tongue is confirmed and he will probably sleep with all the Mrs. Potato Heads.


Indie Spotlight Action Figures, SPOON!!!

October 8, 2008

Shocker Toys debuted Series 1 of their Indie Spotlight action figures at Toy Fair 2008. The series included The Maxx (I pray they follow up with a Mr. Gone), ShadowHawk, and Scud the Disposable Assassin. They just announced Series 2 which will include the greatest Tick figure ever. It totally kicks my Tick Bend ‘Em’s ass. Here’s a photo of the prototype:

Series 2 will have different Tick related items like SPOON! with each character and an Arthur mail in figure. With the creators of each character involved, Indie Spotlight will strive to create the perfect version in each figure and connect fans to the creators on a more personal level.

More photos after the jiz-ump.

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McFarlane Announces ‘Slash’ Guitar Hero Action Figure, Nimble.

October 7, 2008

Did you know that Slash was in a band before Velvet Revolver? From MTV.com:

Today, McFarlane Toys announced exclusively to MTV Multiplayer that the company is making a Slash action figure based on his in-game character from “Guitar Hero III.” At six inches in height, the nimble figure has more than 15 moving parts, a removable guitar and a sculpted base — for flexible shredding, of course.

The figure looks pretty awesome until you reread the quote and realize it’s only six inches tall. Weak.


Iron Man Becomes Plastic Again

September 24, 2008

There’s a new Iron Man toy that will be hitting the shelves in the future. From Toys R Evil:

I’m like 20 seconds away from calling my mom screaming “BUY ME THAT USELESS PIECE OF PLASTIC!!!”.


The Greatest Toy Ever Invented

August 5, 2008

From the Northwestern Lumberman, 1835:


Hey Lucas

August 1, 2008

STOP painting toys robin-egg blue and calling them Limited Edition “Holographic” or “Spirit” versions. (And this isn’t that funny because Sir Alec Guinness is really dead).


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