Soulja Boy Figures Out Rap Game

Soulja Boy has been in the game for about a decade now and in the above interview he provides some veteran’s advice to new rappers:

“If you ain’t really got your feet in the game yet, I suggest you to keep other artists names out your mouth…It could be non-beneficial for your career.”

In related Soulja Boy news, his new album “iSouljaboytellem” was released today. RBM was given an advance copy and Probot, Kyle, and myself all agree that “Gucci Bandanna” is the worst song ever recorded. Don’t believe us?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Player Greg White Steals Our Hearts

TBO Blogs is reporting that NFL player Greg White has officially changed his name to Stylez G. White:

White said he picked his new name from a character in the 1985 movie “Teen Wolf,’’ starring Michael J. Fox. “That was his best friend’s name,’’ White said. “I always liked that name.’’

We here at Robot Bites Man would like to note that we wholeheartedly condone this kind of behavior and are now rooting for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl. Unfortunately sports-playing werewolves went extinct in the late 80’s so this seems unlikely.

Mexican Youth Practice for 2009 Darwin Awards

Because I actually have work to do at work today.

Also, does anyone out there have any clue what this is all about? Is this an event or something? Where are their mothers?

UPDATE: I did some digging and found out that this is a tradition at the San Juan De La Vega Carnival in Mexico. This is way more bad ass than using a sledgehammer to try to hit the bell at the top of the lighted pole. Then when you don’t hit it, Sandy looks at you as “less than” a man. But it’s okay, you wanted to spend the rest of the weekend alone. Who needs the carnival when you’ve got a good book. Who needs Sandy.

Song of the Day: Bob Marley “Iron Lion Zion”

As Robot Bites Man’s New Hampshire based correspondent, things have been pretty crazy  for the last few days. Well, really just last Friday, but if my television-watching is interrupted by other EAS announcement I’m going to flip. Bob, take me away from the downpressor man. Let’s get Irie.

Pavement – The Nicene Creedence Edition

Matador continues its Pavement Special Edition Anniversary Editions with a 2-Disc reissue of Pavement’s 1997 masterpiece Brighten the Corners. Light on the jamming and heavy on the pop, this was Pavement’s most accessible album and featured some of their catchiest tunes, “Shady Lane,” “Stereo,” “Old to Begin.” The 2-Disc set features unreleased tracks, b-sides, live cuts, and even their infamous Space Ghost songs. “Harness Your Hopes,” one of my favorite examples of singer Stephen Malkmus’ stream-of-thought lyricism, is included in the pack. One listen to the epic “Fin” from their sessions with John Peel and you’ll see why Pavement was called “the band that launched a thousand Weezers.” Pavement was the first band I “collected,” and I spent so much goddamn money on eBay acquiring Pavement singles, imports, and bootlegs over the years that the Matador reissue series has been a blessing. Fuck your “indie rock,” Pavement did it first and did it better. Well, maybe Sonic Youth and the Fall did it first, but I like Malkmus’ voice better. Get your copy here.

Who Throws a Shoe?

With President Bush’s popularity in the gutter the Iraqi journalist who chucked his kicks at G-Dub really missed an opportunity to cash in. The advertising potential of this incident was insane. Imagine if he had ended his tirade by shouting something like, “Just do it” and then launched Nike’s newest Lebron James shoes at him. Every infidel from Baghdad to Jalalabad would have been sporting those things.  I guess democracy and capitalism haven’t taken root strongly enough for these types of symbolic acts of frustration to be fully exploited by the highest bidder. Oh well, they’ll learn.

Wes Anderson and Brad Pitt Bank Softly

Here’s the Wes Anderson-directed commercial for some Japanese bank called “Soft Bank.” It features Brad Pitt earning some merit badges and doing his best Jacque Tati, who was sort of like the French Charlie Chaplin. After viewing this I immediatley knew I had made a huge mistake in choosing Bank of America, with their boring commercials featuring people satisfied with BOA’s services. I called BOA and sternly told them I would be switching to Soft Bank. The BOA representative called me a fag and hung up.

More LOST Footage; Ben Still Full of Shit

ABC released some more footage of the LOST season 5 premiere, “Before You Left.” This minute and a half features Jack and Ben talking about the recession and those left behind on the island when it moved. Ben is obviously yanking Jack’s chain about not knowing anything. Last time Ben played stupid, a dead polar bear ended up in my driveway. You know how much a polar bear weighs? Add like, 200 more pounds of dead weight.

If you missed the first batch of footage featuring Kate and some lawyers, check it out here.