Tonight, It’s on

December 19, 2008


Kidd returns to the IZOD Center for the first time tonight since leaving the Nets last February. Harris, don’t look so scurred, it’s fucking show time (one-fisted chest pound).


Top Secret Blueprints Discovered

December 19, 2008

I came into work this morning and found these blueprints sitting on Oh, Mars’ desk. I’m not sure what to make of them… I just hope he knows my titanium hammock is guarded by uber-hippie Bill Walton whenever I have to get up and grab a fresh bucket of coronas. Oh, and that’s only if you can make it past Matthew McConaughey doing push-ups and playing naked bongos. Careful, he drinks mad protein shakes and I’ve seen him crush wheat grass shots like it’s going to simultaneously legalize marijuana and get Bill O’Reilly off the air…

Dont get to comfy Bill, my hippie sense tells me somethings afoot...

Don't get to comfy Bill, my hippie sense tells me something's afoot...

Miller’s Spirit is a Field Day for Reviewers

December 19, 2008


The reviews are coming in and things don’t look so good for Frank Miller’s directorial debut, The Spirit. I guess there is a fine line between “so bad it’s fun” and “so bad I want to tear my eyes out.”

“Frank Miller’s solo writing-directing debut plunges into a watery grave early on and spends roughly the next 100 minutes gasping for air. Pushing well past the point of self-parody” … “There’s a lot going on here, but none of it sticks — not the shopworn plotting nor the arch, stilted dialogue. The actors often seem to be delivering their lines in ironic quote marks, suggesting a straight-faced sendup of noir and comicbook conventions that, whatever the intended effect, falls mostly flat.” (Variety)

“I’ve seen something that has taken the top prize from “Battlefield Earth.” … “Okay, Mr. Miller. Let’s get it on.” … “Seriously, it’s not. You clearly don’t have any idea what you’re doing. Someone, ANYONE, over at Lionsgate should have known this. Fuck, it’s their JOB to know this. But they didn’t.” … “Folks, this movie is that bad. I heartily recommend it if you have a strong stomach and an even stronger sense of Bad-Movie-Love. Otherwise, steer clear.” (AICN)

“The Spirit starts off crazy when we expect serious, then tries to pull it back in, then goes for weird juvenile sight gags then tries to be tough, and we’re disoriented.  Theres also a pathlogical fascination with a prop photocopy of Mendes’ rump.  If you took a shot every time the camera cuts to it, you would be wasted by the third act, and maybe “wasted” is the right word to end with here. (UniqueGeek)

With this disaster on the horizon, you’d think producers would be wary of backing Miller, but it’s already been confirmed that Odd Lot Entertainment, the production company behind The Spirit, is reteaming with Miller for his version of Buck Rodgers. I think it would be kind of interesting to see how Miller’s style translates to science fiction, wait, no I don’t.

Song of the Day

December 19, 2008

Probot wants to pretend that the winter isn’t killing shit right now. He wants to lay in a hammock, sipping Coronas with his Crocs on. Time for some tough love. Probot, you best chill.

They Really Have to Get Back to That Island

December 19, 2008

Here’s a new LOST promo that has started running on ABC. They have to go back to the island. I get it. A lot of people want to know why, but the big question for me is how the hell they’re going to get back. Google Earth? The island vanished!!! It took a few pauses, but the computer screen at the last second flashes “EVENT LOCATION DETERMINED.” See, we do all the hard work for you.

January 21 ya’ll, get psyched!!!