“Anvil! The Story Of Anvil” Trailer

March 11, 2009

lips_robb_anvil

As if I couldn’t make it any more obvious each Monday, I love heavy metal music.  It’s the only music that lights a fire under my ass and gets my heart pounding faster than a freight train to hell.  A new heavy metal documentary has been made, and the crazy Canadian band Anvil is the subject.  From what I’ve seen of it so far, I feel obligated to purchase all of their albums.  I had no idea these guys had it so bad.

When the Gods deliver us this film, I shall travel to the moving picture palace then inform you all of the trials of Steve “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner.  Until such day, blow your head off with some Metal on Metal.


Crazy Crap 3/11/09

March 11, 2009

This just made me super depressed.  Here’s a dude shredding the hell out of his bass with one hand, and I can barely play “The Trooper” from Iron Maiden with the two I’ve got!  I smell an asshole, and not the stinky poo gas kind that now rests in my sad excuse for a chair.


Science Fact: Fat Dudes Have Bad Sex

March 11, 2009

Ah, the wonderful world of science has blessed us yet again with another one of their insightful research studies. This gem comes to us from the good folks at the University of Utah and the first line says it all:

TUESDAY, March 3 (HealthDay News) — The more obese a man, the greater his hormonal changes and the worse his sex life, a new study finds.

On the up side, the study’s authors found that gastric bypass surgery can help reverse those ills.

“Previous studies have found that obesity is correlated to lower sperm count and can be associated with infertility, but we wanted to know if obesity was biologically associated with an unsatisfying sex life, and if so, could it be reversible,” the study’s lead author, Dr. Ahmad Hammoud, of the University of Utah, said in an Endocrine Society news release. “Our results show that the answer to both questions may be yes.”

The researchers checked the weight, body mass index (BMI) and reproductive hormone levels of 64 obese men at the start of the study and again two years later, after some of them had what’s known as Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery. The participants also filled out questionnaires about the quality of their lives.

“In our study population, we found that lower testosterone levels and diminished ratings for sexual quality of life were correlated with increased BMI,” Hammoud said. “Subjects who lost weight through bariatric surgery experienced a reduction in estradiol [hormone] levels, an increase in testosterone levels and an increase in ratings of sexual quality of life.”

The study will appear in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism.

The findings highlight a link between sexual quality of life and hormonal measures independent from weight, Hammoud said. He added that further studies are needed to determine a cause-and-effect relationship. (source)

Well, first off I want to offer my condolences to fat guys who are being deprived of the full awesomeness of boning down. Secondly, I want to say that if you are obese or whatever you have permission, nay you are required, to stop reading Robot Bites Man and go do some flippin’ jumping-jacks or something for 20 minutes a day.  You’ll thank me this summer when you’re stretched out in the back of your F-150 listening to Kenny Chesney under the stars and knocking back a few Coors Originals with some fine little down home girl who is all about making it with you before you head off to State in the fall to play football and chase skirts (fade out to Glory Days).