Trailer for “ROBOCOP 2014”: Your Move, Creep.

September 6, 2013

Robocop_2

Well I’ll be damned.  They actually went through with it.  They’ve gone and remade yet another movie from our childhood.  I thought this one was just going to be another rumor that would fizzle out.  Nope.  This is for real, folks.  ROBOCOP got remade….and we have the trailer. Read the rest of this entry »


Pondering The Aftermath of “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3”

June 7, 2013

Dream_warriors

There are certain movies that one can watch countless times and never get sick of.  Everybody has their list.  I keep mine in a little box next to my bed.  Half the fun of re-watching these movies isn’t just in the recitation of every line.  No, sir.  The bulk of the enjoyment comes when you notice something brand new in a movie you’ve seen more times than your I.Q. score.  This very thing happened to me quite recently. Read the rest of this entry »


Meh At The End Of The Street

May 19, 2013

House-at-the-End-of-the-Street__1_

There really isn’t all that much to do when you’re working the graveyard shift.  Reading books and channel surfing tends to play a huge part in the down-time.  But ever since Netflix became available to me, via my phone and other media, I’ve been privy to the seemingly endless supply of mediocre movies they’ve acquired.  Tonight I took the Netflix wheel o’ wonders for a spin and was rewarded with indifference.  Ladies and gentlemen, here are my thoughts on House at the End of the Street. Read the rest of this entry »


Defender Discusses “DAYBREAKERS”

October 24, 2012

Let’s face it, vampires have been done to death these days.  Everything from turning them into sparkly sissies, giving them an HBO series, and having them go toe-to-toe with a former president has been churned out of tinsel-town lately.  Frankly, I’m sick of it.  They’re everywhere these days and they totally suck…and not in the awesome way.  I was beginning to lose hope that there would never be a truly great vampire movie again.  DAYBREAKERS changed all that. Read the rest of this entry »


The Hobbit: A Most Expected Face-Melting

December 21, 2011

It certainly makes my nerd balls swell to know that this film finally got it’s shit together.  Let’s just hope we get to see it before that 2012 prediction comes to fruition.  Damn Mayans.  They should just buy a new damn calendar, if you ask me.  Those things are quite cheap and have cute pictures of cats doing adorable things on them.


BANEs, Bats, & Cats: Trailer For “The Dark Knight Rises”

December 21, 2011

By now the entire world has been made aware of this trailer’s existence.  But I am mostly to blame for the lack of promptness and all around good humor that you all have come to expect from RBM.  Lots of booze and not enough sleep will cause such problems.  Read the rest of this entry »


11-11-11 Will Be Chalk Full Of “Immortals”

April 28, 2011

I haven’t heard anything about this movie until today.  As awesome as this looks, it pains me that they totally ripped off the ranger’s weapon from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.  I like to think this dude plucked it from the charred remains of Hank then had his way Sheila “the thief”.  Read the rest of this entry »


“Jennifer’s Body” Puts The SUCK In Succubus

April 21, 2011

Waiting for the hype of new films to die out is kind of my thing.  I stress out enough thinking about how much of my gut is sticking out of the bottom of my t-shirt, so spending two hours in a packed theater with hormone riddled high schoolers and overly excited nerds is something I can do without.  Every now and then a film gets released that requires me to dawn my armor and venture forth, but Jennifer’s Body wasn’t one of ’em. Read the rest of this entry »


“Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” Trailer

April 14, 2011

It’s been a good 10 years since Tim Burton grabbed the world by the scruff and drove it face-first into a steaming pile of monkey spunk that was his remake of the classic Planet of the Apes.  Some have forgiven the dreary director, but I for one have not.  Sure, his rendition was closer to the story the original that Apes was based off of.  That doesn’t give him the right to do what he did.  The stink of Paul Giamatti will never go away, despite the hours of vigorous scrubbing. Read the rest of this entry »


Volstagg: The Not-Quite-Voluminous

March 17, 2011

“DAMN THEE, DIET!”

There is much excitement in the nerd community surrounding the new THOR movie that’s due out soon.  As awesome as the trailer is, a “small” problem has been brought to my attention.  Turns out the portly powerhouse Volstagg has been poorly cast.  I know, I know.  How hard could it be to cast a large and in-charge warrior from the halls of Asgard?  Harder than you’d think, apparently. Read the rest of this entry »


“The Dark Knight Rises” Gets A Sexy Cat And A Major Juice-Head

January 19, 2011

MEOW!

After countless rumors flying around the web concerning who will be the villains in Chris Nolan’s upcoming Batman movie, Yahoo has announced that Oh Mars‘ second wife Anne Hathaway will be dawning the leather as Catwoman and Tom Hardy (of Nolan’s Inception) will test out his pipes as Bane. Read the rest of this entry »


“Vicious Lips”: A Radioactive Dream?

January 4, 2011


Would you have sex with a Fungi Dwarf?

Making it as a band isn’t easy.  It’s even harder to make it when you’re a fearsome foursome of foxy femmes.  But when your lead singer bounces so she can make it on her own, then dies in a most brutal accident, the chances of you making it are near impossible.  Not entirely impossible, though.  There’s a few things you can do to assure your chances of total make-age.  It’ll only cost you 80 minutes of your time, and a good chunk of your soul. Read the rest of this entry »


Pour One Out For: Pete Postlethwaite 2/7/1946 – 1/2/2011

January 3, 2011

Not even 2 damn days into this new year and the celebrity death count has claimed it’s first victim.  English actor Pete Postlethwaite finally lost his battle with testicle cancer, a little over a month before his 65th birthday.  So close dude.  So close. Read the rest of this entry »


Trailer For “Transformers: Dark Of The Moon”.

December 21, 2010

Am I the only one who thinks that ship looks like the Ark?  Cuz it looks a lot like the Ark.


Song Of The Day: 12/17/2010

December 17, 2010

ORGAZMO Theme Song: Now You’re A Man

I wasn’t feeling too manly when I woke up this morning.  But after listening to this song, the manliness is marching through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants.


“TRON LEGACY”: Keeping 1982 Alive

December 17, 2010

Thursday nights are usually nothing special.  I go through my normal routine of wake, whack, and wash, then proceed to loaf around until the working hour arrives.  Not this Thursday.  Some good friends came over for a viewing of the 1982 classic TRON, in preparation for the world premier of the much anticipated sequel TRON: LEGACY.  How did you spend YOUR Thursday?  Drinking with hot college girls?  HA!  What’s that?  You did, huh?  Damn.  Well I’m not here to talk about your night.  My job is to tell the world about my experience watching TRON: LEGACY at 12:05 am on a school night. Read the rest of this entry »


Grown-Up/Restricted “Your Highness” Trailer

December 14, 2010

Thank you, Universe.  Once again you have created a movie that was tailor made for me and those I nerd around with.  Keep ’em coming, please.

(small request:  more Natalie Portman ass would be much appreciated.)


Trailer For “Pirates Of The Caribbean 4”: Pirate Fever

December 14, 2010

Zombies?  Hot mermaids?  High adventure?  Penelope Cruise in sexy pirate attire?  Yes, please!


Official Trailer For “THOR”

December 14, 2010

Because I’m a nerd, something important in this trailer needs to be pointed out.  Did anyone else see Odin magic Mjolnir away from Thor?  Thor is the only one strong enough to even lift that hammer; it’s a known fact.  What does this mean?  Is this the first of many mistakes that await us in this picture?  I sure hope not.  Although, Volstagg didn’t look all that “Voluminous” to me. Read the rest of this entry »


Product Of The Week: Star Wars Swim Suits (For The Ladies)

December 13, 2010

I am all for hot girls dawning Star Wars apparel.  Less is more, I always say, especially when it’s nearing X-Mas and they’re sporting beach attire.   The people over at Black Milk, have designed two swim suits for the bitchy girl who enjoys giving nerds the worst case of blue balls ever. Read the rest of this entry »