Don’t even bother showing up at a MARVEL Con/Comic Con costume contest if this dude’s stalking the building. He won the second he put this suit on. How in the hell could anybody top this?
While fighting the tail-end of a rockin’ cold, I was sitting at work last night monitoring one of my clients when an idea hit me. The dude was sitting in bed having random episodes of harsh chomping at the open air, followed by a few quick seconds of gnawing on his bottom lip. He looked like a human piranha in mid feeding-frenzy. I let that thought percolate in my noodle for the duration of my shift. It wasn’t until my drive home that the perfect cartoon for today made sense. Some douche-fuck in a white sedan swerved onto my side of the road, nearly careening head-on into my mighty Ford Focus. A vision of shark fins popping out of the concrete, chasing that fuck down like the can of sardines he/she is, had me in great spirits throughout the rest of my drive. Too bad the only way I’ll get to see that happen is by watching today’s cartoon, Street Sharks. Read the rest of this entry »
Mother Nature is a harsh mistress. Her storms can send houses flying through the air, her earthquakes cause the tallest of buildings to crumble into dust, and her bitter cold seasons have a way of sending more than just retired folk racing for the equator. Even if you’re a scientist trying to figure out a way to grow trees in the desert, like nature enthusiast/scientist Alec Holland was trying to do, that evil tree-bitch will totally ruin your day. In Holland’s case, she sent her minions to his swamp-lab to destroy stuff (mostly glass beakers with strange science liquids in them). Some of the liquids splashed onto him turning him into a massive pile of moss and leaves, hell-bent on protecting that which he became…a mighty Swamp Thing. Read the rest of this entry »
For 18 years Mortal Kombat has been delighting twisted youth everywhere. Even though most of that youth has now reached a twisted adulthood, most of those adults still love and enjoy a good fatality. Originally an arcade game created by Ed Boon and John Tobias (TOASTY!), the franchise was eventually picked up by Acclaim Entertainment, and Midway began releasing MK for the home console all the way up until the recent Mortal Kombat Vs DC Universe. In 2009, however, the franchise was sold to Warner Bros. who will be releasing the latest game in the series in early 2011.
Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Nick Fury, and a dvd sighting of Captain America. The gathering of AVENGERS is drawing near, not to mention rapidly. Up next on the roster is none other than the Lord of Lightning; a.k.a. the Prince of Pain; a.k.a. the Master of Mjollnir; a.k.a. the Sultan of Sif. Give up? IT’S THOR, YOU DUMMIES!!! The picture should have given it away. Read the rest of this entry »
Knowing that there’s a shit ton of celebs jumping on board for the film adaptation of MARVEL‘s THOR, I’ve been severely worried about how the mighty Norse god was going to look. I half expected Hollywood to place Mjalnir in the hands of someone like Zac Efron. But if Anthony “Odin” Hopkins is totally down with the new Captain Kirk filling his son’s boots, I am too.
Sexpot Anna “Rogue” Paquin (best known as the vampire loving blond babe on True Blood) has begun a nation wide rise of nerd boners. She decided to announce her bi-sexualness to the world as part of 80′s rock goddess Cyndi Lauper’s “Give a Damn Campaign”. Once again, Yahoo got the info first. Read the rest of this entry »
This actually IS Heath “The Joker” Ledger performing a victory kick-flip over Christian “Batman” Bale. This was taken on the set of The Dark Knight, and it was known by most that Ledger loved to spend time shredding between shots. Don’t believe me? Just read this article, then stick your foot deep in yer mouth.
Thank you ET….you’ve made my weekend even more awesome.
For a mere $4 Billion bucks, the corporate big-wigs at Disney managed to suck MARVEL Entertainment into their fastly growing amorphous form. This event could have catastrophic repercussions, or could be one of the greatest things to happen to the world since Donald Blake found Mjolnir and became Thor. Fox Business has laid out all the technical gobbledygook: Read the rest of this entry »
When looking back at ’80s cartoons, and the way they portray future technology, it’s rather bittersweet. Old feelings of wonder resurface, yet they get pummeled back into oblivion when we are reminded of how far from technological cartoon cool we still are. Most of the world figured that by this time we would at least have cool jet-packs of some sort. But the only one capable of commanding such equipment is Chuck Fucking Norris. Plasma cannons; none. teleportation platforms; yeah right. I would even settle for a super propelled scuba suit, but that would be asking for way too much. Read the rest of this entry »
Judas Priest: Blood Red Skies (from the album Ram It Down)
It ain’t Monday, but I don’t give a FUCK! Judas Fucking Priest RULES!!!!
Like guys in costumes, running around like madmen, trying to save the day from bad bad minions of evil, do ya? Well my friends, The Tick is an epic tale: true friendship, heart stopping danger, men and women in tights makin’ the rules and breakin’ ‘em!!! So why am I wasting time with jibberjabber, let’s watch some episodes of one of the greatest shows to ever super punch it’s way onto the airwaves. Read the rest of this entry »
Superheroes live very trying lives. Not only must they tackle the forces of evil at a moment’s notice, it is also expected of them to save us regular folk from the throws of mortal peril. One important question needs to be asked here: Can such people who run on highly hectic schedules co-exist during their down-time? Better yet, is it possible for 3 such costumed crusaders to split food, rent, and utilities? Let’s find out what would have happen if Spiderman, Ice Man, and Firestar shared an apartment. Read the rest of this entry »
A movie about Thor just wouldn’t be complete without that son of a bitch Loki. That would be like taking a swig of Moxie and not getting that beautiful shot of flavor once the bottle leaves your lips, or driving by a beautiful woman without yelling something to creep her out. It’s just wouldn’t feel right. The boys over at Deadline Hollywood Daily have discovered that Tom “The Unknown” Hiddleston has been picked to create major havoc for the Aesir. Read the rest of this entry »
For those who may have seen cinematic psychopath J.J.Abrams’ new film Star Trek, you may recognize this gentleman as daddy to Captain Kirk. Well it seems his little romp through the cosmos shot a bolt of lightning up his ass, infecting him with the slow metamorphosis that is God-hood. You see, mister Chris Hemsworth will be playing the roll of Thor in the up and coming film, set to be released sometime in 2011. Read the rest of this entry »