Meh At The End Of The Street

House-at-the-End-of-the-Street__1_

There really isn’t all that much to do when you’re working the graveyard shift.  Reading books and channel surfing tends to play a huge part in the down-time.  But ever since Netflix became available to me, via my phone and other media, I’ve been privy to the seemingly endless supply of mediocre movies they’ve acquired.  Tonight I took the Netflix wheel o’ wonders for a spin and was rewarded with indifference.  Ladies and gentlemen, here are my thoughts on House at the End of the Street.

I remember watching a trailer for this last year and thought it looked like a bad rehash of Last House on the Left.  Not much thought was put towards this movie after the trailer ended, and I thank my brain for that.  It just seemed like every other new horror/thriller that’s been pumped out over the past few years.  Turns out it resides on the slightly better side of suck-town.

Here’s the skinny with a few spoilers tossed in, mostly because I really don’t give a crap.  Super cute Jennifer Lawrence and her mom, played by still hot Elisabeth Shue, move to a new house in the middle of the woods.  Their new neighbors are your typical rich snobs with matching douche-bag kids, as only rich snobs would have, with the exception one house.  The one directly next door.  A psycho daughter went bonkers and slew her parents in a fit of total craziness.

House-at-the-end-of-the-street_thumbJennifer Lawrence, or “Elissa” as she’s called in the movie, starts to fall for the brooding surviving family member who was “away” when the murders took place….or so he says.  Everyone in the town gives this dude shit for being a shut-in, but mostly for the rumors that his freakazoid sister has been living in the woods like Wolverine since the murders.  They even go so far as thrashing his ride at the school’s battle of the bands.  Damn kids.

After a series of not so well placed cliches, combined with some very weird time-lapsed morphing shots (you have to see it to get it), we learn that oddball Ryan has been kidnapping local girls and dressing them up like his sister.  But it gets even more confusing.  Flashbacks show us that his sister died in a freak swing riding accident when they were little so he was the one who actually killed his parents.  There’s a nice little homage to Sleepaway Camp at the end of the movie.  Whether it was intended to be one or not, I will never know.  It’s not in reference to the traumatizing ending of Sleepaway Camp, but I dug it.

Though I’m very glad this wasn’t at all the type of movie I was expecting, I wish it had done more for me than it actually did.  The very sight of Elisabeth Shue had me giddy.  She’s awesome.  Too bad this movie isn’t.  Oh yeah, there are zero naked boobs.  Sorry guys.  I was bummed too.

Over all I think people should give this one a chance.  If you have some time to kill, or happen to be an over-nighter like myself, give it a view.  You won’t be happy afterwards, but you won’t be let down either.

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