“Vicious Lips”: A Radioactive Dream?


Would you have sex with a Fungi Dwarf?

Making it as a band isn’t easy.  It’s even harder to make it when you’re a fearsome foursome of foxy femmes.  But when your lead singer bounces so she can make it on her own, then dies in a most brutal accident, the chances of you making it are near impossible.  Not entirely impossible, though.  There’s a few things you can do to assure your chances of total make-age.  It’ll only cost you 80 minutes of your time, and a good chunk of your soul.

From the director of such raging flicks as The Sword and The Sorcerer, Captain America, Dollman, and Arcade, comes the futuristic tale of Vicious Lips (an 80s style all girl rock group trying to make it to a gig on time).  But there was more to the story than just that, though I’ll be damned if anyone can figure it out.  Here’s what I got out of it.  Promoter Matty Asher is having the worst day of his life.  The lead singer of his all girl band Vicious Lips just bailed to further her career and got killed by a space cab.  The girls are set to perform at the Spaceport Lounge in an hour, yet they have no voice to their rock!  No problemo for Matty.  The alley outside the Ralph’s Diner style bar was littered with fliers for the Solo High talent show, luckily.

Matty gets to the close-by school just in time to see Judy Jetson’s (no joke, that’s her name) brief performance.  With promises of making it big at “Madison’s Radioactive Dream“, Matty gives Judy the dead singer’s stage name, throws her to the she-wolves backstage to get ready, then calls Madison herself to whore the girls out a little.  Keep in mind that all of this was done in less than an hour of in-movie time.  Once the Lips took the stage for a record breaking crowd, my head nearly blew up.  These chicks rock, and it’s all due to Judy/Ace:

Things start going south for us, the viewers, right after their very short set.  The Lips need to haul ass across countless galaxies to make it their next make-it-or-break-it show at Radioactive Dream.  Unbeknownst to Matty and the girls, the ship Matty “borrowed” contains a “Venusian Man-Beast” who could escape if the ship crashes.  Sure enough, Matty takes a short cut through “The Forbidden Zone” and crashes, despite the countless ridiculous warnings from the ship.

I couldn’t tell you what happened after the ship crashed, other than the Man-dude seemed to be horny, two of the girls took space pot, and Judy/Ace saw stuff in the sand (probably from the space pot).  So much nonsense unfolded that my mind shut itself off.  However, the power turned back on once Matty was tackled on a sand dune by two boobtastic blonds.  It seems the ship crashed on a “Pleasure Planet“, something we only learn when the Man-dude chases Judy/Ace off the ship and into a dilapidated building mere feet from the ship.  Funny.  We don’t see this building at all while Judy/Ace looks out the ship’s windows.

To sit and explain what happened at the end of this movie would make my brain melt.  I’ve been watching this movie the whole time I’ve been writing this review, and even on round 2 I can’t understand the ending.  All I know is they get to Radioactive Dream.  I was rather sad the movie took such a nose dive.  It had a tremendous amount of potential with all the hot chick rocking and all.

Despite the total confusion I suffered towards the end, I loved this movie.  It satisfied my two loves:  boobs and 80’s rock.  I totally have a new favorite band.

Check out Oh Mars‘ take on this over at Mishka.

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2 Responses to “Vicious Lips”: A Radioactive Dream?

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