Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Nick Fury, and a dvd sighting of Captain America. The gathering of AVENGERS is drawing near, not to mention rapidly. Up next on the roster is none other than the Lord of Lightning; a.k.a. the Prince of Pain; a.k.a. the Master of Mjollnir; a.k.a. the Sultan of Sif. Give up? IT’S THOR, YOU DUMMIES!!! The picture should have given it away.
Even with the large list of stars that have jumped on board for a THOR film, I am still a bit skeptical. Usually a comic book movie turns into a farce when there are too many big names working on it (Fantastic 4, GHOST RIDER, and *retch* Batman & Robin to name a few). But Entertainment Tonight, sorry ET (I keep forgetting how we need to abbreviate everything in the future) braved the glorious rainbow-bridge Bifrost to get some behind-the-scenes footage for us Midgardians. So far so good, if you ask me. Anthony Hopkins as Odin is the best casting job that I’ve seen since Heath Ledger as The Joker.
No matter how many times I watch that video, I can’t help but get a little depressed (and grow a raging frost giant in my pants) every time Natalie Portman says my name. After all, it’s because of you readers that Chris Hemsworth gets to show her pure Viking love, when it should be me. What’s that? You don’t know what I’m talking about? Pop quiz, hot shot! Who requested that y’all donate some gold to send me to the open casting call? Last I checked…IT WAS ME!!! The dude even has the same name as me!! By Balder’s beautiful beard!! If I was given 6 months to get in shape, I know damn-fool-well that I could crush that little twerp like only the true thunder God could!
Sorry, everyone. It’s not your fault. The Norns can be evil bitches when destiny is involved, so the blame is on them. Apparently I’ve been slated to wipe butt, watch bad movies, and wet my whistle with cheep whiskey while others get to enjoy the finer things in life….like Natalie Portman.
Some mortals have all the fun.