Gattaca: Science, Murder, And Space Travel

Vincent Freeman is a special child.  He is one of the few people left in the distant future to have been created without the use of genetics.  That’s right.  His parents did the old horizontal bedtime bop.  But the world he was born into has strict regulations when it comes to perfection in humans.  From the second you are born, science can determine if you’ll have any physical deformities, mental problems varying from A.D. D. to anger issues, and can even give the age you will die.  Because of this, the people of the future look down upon those who weren’t bred for perfection.  How can a man who had been dubbed inferior at birth rise above such douchieness?  Easy.  Through good old American trickery.

Having only a brief encounter with space teens while cruising the cosmos in The Thunder Road with his two childhood palls, a now adult Ethan Hawke dreams to visit the Saturn moon of Titan.  There are just a few things he must do in order to make this come true.

First:  He must find a superb human specimen that fell from grace, who happens to look a lot like him.

Second:  He needs to make daily body scrubs with a brillo pad.  That way he removes any excess skin-flakes, stray pubes, or boogers that might be detected by the high tech security devices.

Third:  Collect blood, urine, poop, and other icky fluids from said selected specimen to trick the high tech security devices into thinking he’s not him.

Fourth:  Make sure to not drop an eye lash when looking upon the bludgeoned body of a superior, just a few short days before you’re scheduled to be shot into space.

It seems Ethan “Vincent Freeman/Jerome Morrow” Hawke failed to follow step 4.  Once the coppers found one of his eye lashes at the scene of the crime and scanned it, they sent Ethan’s space dreams crumbling to the ground.  All of the work he’s done with Jude “The Real Jerome Morrow” Law is being put to the ultimate test, and now they have this guy on their tail:

Can Ethan get away with a murder he didn’t commit?  Will he finally go for a ride through space in a vehicle that wasn’t born from a Tilt-A-Whirl?  Is there enough Jude “The Real Jerome Morrow” blood and pee to last him beyond his life expectancy?  Are Uma Thurman’s hands really that big? The only way for you to find out is to watch this amazing film.

Trailer time:

For those who haven’t seen this film, there is one answer I can give you.  Yes.  Uma Thurman’s hands really are that big.


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