Thursday Throwbacks: 12/3/09

As I sit in my room, gazing out my rain splattered windows, it occurred to me that not everybody enjoys days like this.  Because I’m such a fantastic fellow and get off on making the ladies happy, I feel it’s my duty to bring colorful wonder into their lives on such a dreary day.  Dig out those rainbow thigh-highs from the bottom of your closets, girls.  Here comes Rainbow Brite.

Since I happen to be a dude, and was once a little BOY, I don’t know a whole hell of a lot about this show.  However, through the magical powers of The Internet that problem has been solved. (from Wikipedia)

“A little orphan girl named Wisp is taken by an unknown force to the Colorless World.  She must find the Sphere of Light, but upon doing so, she befriends a sprite, Twink, and a majestic white horse known as Starlite.  She rescues the seven Color Kids (one for each color of the rainbow) and finds the Color Belt, which is the tool she needs to bring color to the land.  After using it to defeat the King of Shadows (also known as the Evil Force and the Dark One), an evil hooded being with twitchy fingers, the unknown force renames Wisp as Rainbow Brite.  She and the Color Kids (and their helpers, the Sprites) live in Rainbow Land and are in charge of all the colors on Earth.

The Color Belt needs colored Star Sprinkles to work.  Each Color Kid is in charge of his/her respective color, and their Sprites mine Color Crystals from the Color Caves, which are turned into Star Sprinkles by a process much like using cookie cutters.”

Wow, things were so much more adorable back in the ’80s.  If you doubt me, just watch the following episodes.  By the end you’ll be face down in toilet water, puking from all the cuteness.

Beginning of Rainbow Land

Peril in the Pits

The Mighty Monstromurk Menace

Chasing Rainbows

Star Sprinkled

Murky’s Comet

A Horse of a Different Color

MOM

Invasion of Rainbow Land

Queen of the Sprites

Rainbow Night

After enjoying a wild 3 year run on Kideo TV, Rainbow dabbled in the world of merchandise.  You name it, she was on it:

cereal

oven mitts

Converse

tote bags

shower curtains

ladies tees

and plush toys

But sadly, things took a turn for the worse for the young celebutante.  Rainbow started hanging with wrong crowd.  Night clubs, bars, strip joints; it didn’t matter.  As long as she could dance the night away (on the floor or on the bar), she was quite content with life.

The celebrity detectives at RBM were able to sniff out the once innocent Rainbow Brite.  It seems she has continued her life of wanton debauchery, and has even gone as far as ditching her iconic blond locks for an edgier look, not to mention dawning some rather sexy ink.

No matter how far down the hole of former child stars the aged Mrs. Brite falls, she shall always be remembered as that darling little girl who wanted to do nothing but spread the joy of color to the world.  Even after 20+ years, ladies still pay tribute to their favorite Saturday morning television heroine…..only in a slightly slutty way of course.

Shit!  I sure picked the perfect toon for today.  The rain has stopped and the sun is blazing through my windows.  Color me freaked the fuck out, but I do believe that I just changed the weather through nostalgia.  I FUCKING RULE!!
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