Thursday Throwbacks: 9/10/09

munecos-chuck-norris

He can sneeze with his eyes open, drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls, and once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger by yelling “BANG!”.  A demi-god by his own making, Chuck Norris is the most powerful being on this planet, as well as every other one in the universe.  Many other puny mortals have tried to attain the omnipotence that Chuck Norris has, only to be knocked into extinction by a swift roundhouse kick to the face.

There is one fact about The Grand High Wizard, that is Chuck Norris, many of you may not be aware of.  In 1986, Chuck Norris used his prolific powers to metamorphose into an animated anomaly.  The government thought they could harness his natural killing abilities, and tried to use him as a weapon.  Little did they know that Norris doesn’t need weapons.  He’s the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick!  But because Mr. Norris has a kind heart, he decided to humor the government and went on a few animated adventures, carting along some nice Bantha Poodoo where ever he went.  Try not to let your soul explode while you watch Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos.  Don’t worry too much.  Every episode has a life lesson that gets pounded into your skull, and doesn’t leave until Chuck Norris says so.

Deadly Dolphin

Target

Terror

Menace From Space

Island

The world of cartoons could only sustain 5 episodes of Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos, for any more would cause it to collapse on itself.  Norris can’t be contained for that long.

If you are interested in expanding your Norris Knowledge, or if you think you have what it takes to bring this God among men down a few levels, check out the complete list of Chuck Norris facts.  Not a single person has been able to read them all, mostly because if you do, Norris will roundhouse kick your soul into the sun.

Should you find that your life hasn’t had enough Chuck Norris to get you through the day, here’s a few of Chuck Norris’ greatest moments ever captured on film.

Presented by Conan O’Brien:

Have a Chuck-tastic day.

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