Harry Potter And The Half Blood Defender

It was a warm, ominous, summer’s evening.  Dark clouds eerily crept across the onyx sky, offsetting the rays of moonlight that showed the path to our hero.  His day was full of adventure, battle, and feasting, but was far from it’s end.  There was one more task at hand for the mighty warrior.  An event of epic proportions was set to take place, and he was determined to be apart of it, no matter the cost.  For this was the night when Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince burst forth from the realm of Hollywood.  The night when thousands of children got to say up WAY past their bed time.


Six down, one to go.  Only one more book is left in the Harry Potter series.  One more book for movie magicians to cast Avada Kedavra on, continuing a murderous rampage that only Lord Voldemort would look at and say “damn…that was harsh!”.

Walking into this film (finding out last minute that it was given a PG rating) I honestly didn’t know what to expect.  Having low expectations is usually a good thing when dealing with subject matter such as this, so it didn’t come as much of a shock to me (or the zillions of other Potter fans watching) to see how much was left out of the film.  Trust me, it was A LOT.  Nowhere near as much as in The Odor of the Phoenix, mind you, but enough to stricken the die-hards with a case of the Confundus Charm.

bellatrixlestrangegc7Dumbledore prevented Harry from a possible snogging session with a hottie (a scene not in the book, but one I liked regardless).  He should have at least let Harry slip her the tongue before they bamfed to another city.  Jerk.

Helena Bonham Carter is magically babelicious.  She could cast Petrificus Totalus and have her devilish way with me any day.  To quote Lion-O, “She’s BEAUTIFUL! Well, in an EVIL sort of way.”

It would have been cool to see more of Tonks.  For some reason, they felt it pertinent to have Luna Lovegood stumble across Harry after his royal ass kicking at the hands of Draco Malfoy, instead of Tonks tailing him for safety.  Unfortunate, though it did work well.  The more Luna the better.  She rocks.

Maybe it was just me, or a side affect from eating too much pasta, but it felt as if the movie had a rocket up its ass.  Almost every scene felt rushed, like the director just wanted to get certain things out of the way so he could show us his favorite parts of the book.  Doing so left us with no huge fight at the Weasley house (there was a small one though), the Unbreakable Vow wasn’t as intense as it should have been, plus there was no epic funeral for Dumbledore.  What a fucking bummer.

Alcohol abuse had quite the undertone in this picture.  There was more than one instance where in one or more of the characters showed tell-tale signs of intoxication.  Especially after Harry drank the luck potion.  He acted as one would after downing a dose of liquid courage.  The bulged out eyes, the super friendly/ready to take on the world attitude.  All that was missing was Harry hitting on somebody’s woman after taking his shirt off.

Now that a new day has reared it’s ugly head, I have made my final decisions regarding this film.  All in all it wasn’t half bad.  There have only been very rare cases where the movie matched the explosionary might of the book it was portraying, so you can’t walk into The Half Blood Prince thinking your head will erupt with an Expulso spell.  However, it is worth checking out even if you hated the last movie, and are feeling brave enough to wade through hordes of amped up tweens for some twizzlers.  But if you’d rather just watch the best clips, here’s the trailer.

May the rest of your week be filled with Butter Beers, Chocolate Frogs, and a few Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.  Mine will be filled with real beers, chocolate cakes, and asthma related wheezes.  \m/


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