Heavy Metal Monday: 5/11/09


Throughout the span of metal history there have been many bands/groups who’s main purpose is to shock the ever loving hell out of people.  As KISS took a stage page out of Alice Cooper with use of more make-up, then W.A.S.P. going one step further by use of fire, raw meat, and saw blade codpieces, one band has traveled across the far reaches of space with enough blood, bile, and monsters to set the bar for “Shock Rockers” world wide.  Wearing varying styles of armor that could impale, chomp, and reduce you to a quivering pile of muck within the blink of an eye, GWAR has come to RBM.

GWAR: ‘Gor-Gor’

GWAR’s repertoire for randomness has an epic reach.  Not only have they taken the time to drop by and say hello to Joan Rivers, but they’ve also found a way to play a show in the realm of video games (just be patient with the video.  some lame ass didn’t think to just show GWAR)

Last week Defender was charged with a little recon mission to the Boston House of Blues, and was ordered to scope out GWAR while they performed.  GWAR aftermath 5 5 09 005With the exception of coming dangerously close to slaying the loogie spraying front man for Cattle Decapitation (that guy deserved many a fist in the nut sack), the only battles I took part in were the frequent hordes of peasants that felt bold enough to try and push their way past me.  Let’s just say parts of them are still being scraped off the show-room floor.  I did suffer massive trauma at the hands of GWAR.  Never in my life had I seen so many heads cut, sawed, or ripped off only to have the flailing body fire-hose blood right into my face (not when it didn’t happen by my two hands, that is).

GWAR was an experience of a lifetime, one that everybody should have at least once.  They put on the best stage show I have ever seen through the white orbs stuck in my skull, and this picture should be proof of that.  If you enjoy mutants going toe-to-toe with giant robots, bodily dismemberment, and getting covered from top to bottom in blood, bile, and fluids shot from the crotch of an alien while heart pounding music is bombarding your every oraface, then get your ass to GWAR! You will enjoy every second of it, or die in the process.  \m/


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