1260 – Kublai Khan becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire. First non-Chinese ruler to conquer all of China and even he didn’t force them to smoke.
1494 – Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Jamaica and claims it for Spain. Columbus smokes peace pipe with natives; can’t remember where he left keys to Santa Maria. Panic attack ensues.
1640 – King Charles I of England dissolves the Short Parliament. Reforms them with improved horn section and funkier bass player, the rest is history.
1809 – Mary Kies becomes the first woman awarded a U.S. patent, for a technique of weaving straw with silk and thread. Nice work, Toots.
1821 – Emperor Napoleon I dies in exile on the island of Saint Helena in the South Atlantic Ocean. With no one to fill the shoes of the empire builder France will soon be losing battles against…
1862 – Cinco de Mayo in Mexico: troops led by Ignacio Zaragoza halt a French invasion in the Battle of Puebla. Jeez France, how the mighty have fallen.
2009 – Blogger Joe Provost aka Probot8 aka The Undisputed Heavyweight of Setting the Record Straight, Aficionado of All Things Bravado, Don Juan of Robot Bites Mon, The Keyboard Slinger, The Pain Bringer, The Most-Fearless, Social Satirist returns with the History Made Today in History post to… resounding silence (crickets chirp… owww owww owwwoooooo).