China, Don’t Make Me Turn the Car Around!

The balls on these motherfuckers:

Chinese ordered to smoke more to boost economy

Local government officials in China have been ordered to smoke nearly a quarter of a million packs of cigarettes in a move to boost the local economy during the global financial crisis

The edict, issued by officials in Hubei province in central China, threatens to fine officials who “fail to meet their targets” or are caught smoking rival brands manufactured in neighbouring provinces.

Even local schools have been issued with a smoking quota for teachers, while one village was ordered to purchase 400 cartons of cigarettes a year for its officials, according to the local government’s website (source).

China, my hat is off to you because I’ve heard of some pretty ballsy things in my lifetime (Matthew McConaughey continuing to work, that new 311 song, Will Smith putting his son in the remake of Karate Kid etc.), but this shit doesn’t just take the cake, it takes the cake and makes it die from lung cancer after forcing it to smoke more.

Seriously China, you already got everybody up in arms with all the shenanigans you were pulling around the summer Olympics with your filthy air, continued oppression towards Tibet, general poor human rights record and lame, state filtered Internet, but FORCING your people to smoke to save the economy? Really?  How can a country get away with this in 2009?

The conspiracy theorist in me is led to believe that this is really some type of population control move on behalf of the Chinese government. I just can’t wrap my head around this really, truly being an act derived from an economic motive. The only financial motive I can see here is really more of a resource issue with China struggling to feed their ever growing population. So maybe some gub’ment uppity-ups over there decided “hey, rather than trying to figure out how to produce food for more people, we can just get rid of a whole bunch of people! Bingo!” I mean, we all know that cigarettes can supress your appetitie, but have you ever seen a cancer patient hitting the buffet for seconds?

Oh, and don’t get pissed at me if you find that joke offensive, get mad at China.

One Response to China, Don’t Make Me Turn the Car Around!

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