A mighty thanks goes out to the lovely ladies who attend my gym, for they are the inspiration behind today’s metal song. If it wasn’t for the fact that the girls show up in what could only be described as underpants and a bra, I wouldn’t have a reason to even attempt a work out. With bum cheeks hanging out of epic short shorts, a fine glisten of sweat accentuating their perfectly tan skin, and side-boob that causes dudes to take rocket rides off their tread mills, it’s the closest thing to a strip club you can get without shelling out your life savings. That being said, let’s join Motley Crue (sorry, don’t know how to add the umlaut) as they pay respects to the greatest creatures on Earth.
Motley Crue: Girls, Girls, Girls
Could somebody tell me why girls like that don’t exist anymore? Seriously. I must find the answer to what caused this mass extinction of rockin’ babes. Sure, a handful may find their way to a show or two, but they only came to be with their stupid boyfriends and don’t even like the music most of the time.
Perhaps the problem lies in location. I think another trip to the holy land of Las Vegas is in order. Maybe I can convince Oh Mars and Probot to come along for the adventure. We could make the rounds at the local gentlemen’s clubs, then finnish each night off at the Worlds Biggest Buffet at the RIO. \m/