Pitchmen Premier Tonight on Discovery

I think it’s official that my homeboy Billy Mays has thoroughly defeated that prostitute-fighter Vince Offer because tonight at 10PM on the Discovery Channel Mays’ new show Pitchmen premiers. The show’s premise involves Billy Mays humoring fellow pitchman Anthony Sullivan into thinking he can compete with Mays’ pitch-tactics, at which point Mays will dazzle us all with his God-given ability to sell only the finest wares that he himself uses on the reg.

The actual description of the show provided by the Discovery Channel goes something like this:

Pitchmen follows the adventures of Billy Mays and Anthony “Sully” Sullivan, two of the most famous and successful pitchmen in history, as they search the world for inventions they believe they can take all the way to the big time. In each episode, this odd couple of pitchmen partners become potential dream merchants for the inventors they discover; most of whom have staked everything they own, and then some, on their inventions. For these lucky individuals, Billy and Sully falling in love with their products and deciding to pitch them to the masses could be the turning point that changes their lives forever. Most of the eccentric characters the pitchmen shepherd are all-in, risking absolutely everything in the biggest gamble of their lives. Will they fall short or, with Billy and Sully’s backing, run their gadgets all the way to glory?

Additionally, the description for tonight’s episode is this:

Billy and Sully try to turn two inventors’ million-dollar dreams into realities. A man from a Texas trailer park has solved a pesky GPS problem, while another man’s gel insoles could be big news for sore feet. But will they sell when put to the test?

I’m not sure what the definition of “captivating television” is, but I’m pretty sure it includes the words “Texas,” “trailer park” and “sore feet.”

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4 Responses to Pitchmen Premier Tonight on Discovery

  1. The Mayor of Portsmouth says:

    I have never been more excited for a show ever in history ever.

  2. The Mayor says:

    Wow…The show definitely lived up to the hype…I f-ing loved it, especially that fact that Billy Mays is a GIANT douche in real life and wouldn’t even let his hand get run over by a car for his super gel inserts infomercial. Also the fact that everytime the other guy tried to get him to write a script for a spot the only thing he came up with EVERY SINGLE TIME was just yelling “Billy Mays Here And I’m Here To Tell You About…” and the other guy had to come up with everything else.

    Vince rules. Billy Mays sucks and is a huge pussy and looks really old with reality tv lighting.

  3. probot8 says:

    yeah, i guess vince rules if you’re into fighting hookers. as a mayor i’m sure that’s right up you’re alley.

    I was disappointed that billy wouldn’t let the car run his hand over. sully showed him up. billy did smash his hand with the hammer a bunch though. i guess we’ll just have to keep tuning in to see if billy will redeem himself.

  4. The Mayor says:

    I AM into fighting hookers…and fighting for the rights of each and every one of my constituents…

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