It’s been two weeks of happy-dappy, fun-time, makes me wanna puke, sweet cartoons. Time for a show that’s all about fighting, muscles, star-metal weapons, and being all the bar-fucking-barian you can be. A show that took what Arnold Schwarzenegger made amazing, then rammed more snakes and sorcery down our throats. He’s a grumpy bastard with no time for petty things like diplomacy, or manners, or good hygiene. A man of legend, myth, and mayhem, he is Conan: The Adventurer.
Episode 1: The Night of Fiery Tears
Episode 2: Blood Brother
Episode 3: Star of Shadizar
This show is like a midnight Taco Bell run; once you’ve devoured what you’ve ordered, it’s time to pull back into the drive through for another go. I could sit here for hours, upon hours, watching this show. Wasting an entire day to Conan is something I’ve done on more than one occasion, and wouldn’t mind doing again.
It truly bites Bantha Poodoo that a show this epically awesome ended with only 64 episodes. My belief is that once all of those highly intelligent Harvard grads are spunked out into the world, they get jobs deciding what shows should stay or go. They then learn which ones make my friends and I frantically happy, only to put an end to the show, right then and there. Programs that are total shit are what they want us to watch. Didn’t you know that?
To make matters worse, this show is only available for purchase in Europe! Son of a FUCK! Get yer asses in gear all you DVD distribution dicks! We want killer cartoons, and we want ’em NOW!
Today starts another long weekend for me. I think it seems only proper to watch films about barbarians, eating foods that demand you use the utencils given to you by the Gods, and drink until pictures of my bahemouth first girlfriend look hot. Sound the Battle Horns if you wish to partake. \m/