Burger Poses Threat to Environment

ODD Bodacious Ballpark Burger

The Great Pyramid, big. The Great Wall of China, huge. The Great Barrier Reef, massive. This burger for sale at home games for the West Michigan Whitecaps, environmentally hazardous . This mondo-meat extravaganza weighs in at 4 pounds and is comprised of 5 beef patties, 5 slices of cheese, a cup of chili, corn chips, salsa and a bun made from a pound of dough. It tips the scales at 4,800 calories and has environmentalists up in arms.

In a press release issued by the Midwestern air pollution activists Healthly Oxygen America Xtreme, spokesperson Anita Salad condemned the Whitecaps for selling the burger. Salad’s release included a chart that provided information on the current methane gas levels in western Michigan and projected that on game nights, if this burger is sold, those levels could possibly quintuple. Salad went on to discuss the impact that excessive methane gas has on the ozone layer and the implications that selling this burger would have in terms of, not only global climate change, but also instances of individuals needing to change their underwear (source).

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2 Responses to Burger Poses Threat to Environment

  1. deadheadhoodie says:

    It tastes just like it smells …Delicious

  2. the good doctor says:

    let’s get a road trip set up so we can all watch deadheadhoodie eat that mammoth burger. and as a doctor, its only fair that we check his vital signs as well as cholesterol levels, working heart rate, and finally cognitive skills before, during, and after the consumption of this burger. in the name of science, we must push forward, just like the dren experiment. btw, pro, make sure there is a doctor on hand any time you ingest frightening semi-legal compounds.

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