This is an URGENT message to all Americans. WE MUST HELP BUS DRIVERS REGAIN THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR. A sense of humor is probably the most important feature I look for in anything. Men, women, plants, animals, automobiles, snowblowers, chainsaws, camp sites, traveling carnivals, sausage vendors and, of course, Swedes.
There is a simple test that you can perform on anyone in order to determine if they have a sense of humor. I call it the Fart Test. The accuracy of the Fart Test is on par with that of any other rigorous scientific examination. Its results are statistically significant 100% of the time. It has withstood numerous clinical trials and has been subjected to the most skeptical peer review process known to man.
The Fart Test works like this: You fart in front of someone, preferably something audible, although silent-but-deadly types have proven to be effective as well. Then, you observe whether they laugh or not. If they laugh, they have a sense of humor and everything is fine. If they don’t, you’re dealing with Anton Chigurh and you’re fucked.
Now, the following story will indicate why we need to help Bus Driver Americans.
Hold onto your hats:
LAKELAND, Fla. – An eighth-grader was suspended from riding the for three days after being accused of passing gas. The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that a 15-year-old teen passing gas on the bus Monday to make the other children laugh, creating a stench so bad that it was difficult to breathe. The handed the teen the suspension form the next day.
Polk County school officials said there’s no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.
The teen said he wasn’t the one passing gas.
Whether he did it or not, he might have gotten off easy. A 13-year-old student at a Stuart school was arrested in November after authorities said he broke wind in class. (source)
Lord in Heaven, please intervene and come to us in our time of need. Amen.