In a pathetic effort to show some appreciation to our lovely lady readers, I have decided to stray from the normal Thursday cartoons that are mostly geared towards the fellows. This week is dedicated to all of you righteous babes who can party harder than most of the guys in the world, while maintaining your femininity; to all of you metal madams who can drink your male companions under the table, then tear up the Karaoke stage. There is one woman from the toon-age who can do just that, but on a level that up there with Lita Ford, Doro Pesch, and the girls from Vixen. She is a singing sensation who happens to be truly outrageous (truly, truly, truly outrageous) and her name is Jem.
Jem and the Holograms was a show telling the tale of Jerrica Benton. Jerrica inherited her father’s fortune, and half of his record company, after he died. Putting most of the money towards a home for orphans, Jerrica was left a little in the red. She went to the record company for a few bucks only find that it was being run by a slimy rec exec only the ’80’s could offer. The dude wouldn’t give her a dime, so she decided to form a band with her friends using her father’s high tech “holographic” computer. “Synergy”, as the comp was called, could project holograms onto Jerrica and her pals to make them look like rock stars, basically. With new gear, and killer threads, Jerrica became “Jem”. That about sums it up.
I’m not gonna lie, I thought this show kicked ass (and still think so). But Jem wasn’t the reason I watched that show. Sure her legs went on until next week, she rolled with a blue haired beauty, and had a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. Those endearing qualities were not missed by me…not by a long shot. Even at a young age my metal instincts were strong, so naturally I fancied “The Misfits” over Jem and her Hollo-Hotties (I’m sure Oh Mars, Probot, and Victorianblood are with me on this one). Hell, in the first episode they ride into their record company on guitar shaped motorcycles! Jem was too much a princess for the likes of these bad ass broads.
Watch these few episodes then tell me what side you’d rather be on.
The Beginning: (Don’t go nuts over the theme song, because this is the first episode and the more familliar opening didn’t kick in until later on in the series)
If you ask me, this entire show was yet another example of how stupid bubble gum pop keeps great all-girl rock/metal groups out of the lime light. There are many amazing sexy shredders out there that don’t get the credit they deserve because the world would rather have some boozed up skank squad like Brittany Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or the Jonas Brothers as their teen idols. May the cacophonous crashings of Torry Castellano (drummer for The Donnas) blast nay-sayers straight out of their Chuck’s, and detonate a diaper destroying bowel bomb in their acid-washed denims. They deserve no less. \m/