Monday Morning Wood


Oscars Edition (sort of):

I just watched some tool who made Brad Pitt look old win the Best Makeup Oscar instead of Mike Elizalde (Hellboy II). Said tool then proceeded to read off a thank-you laundry list of people who probably feel really special they were mentioned along with 1,000 others.

Anne Hathaway, you look great. Bring daddy home an Oscar.

Speed won an Oscar?!?! BestWeekEver posted a list of 20 movies you did not know won Oscars.

Finally got to see Taken. Check out my quick write up of it here. If I was Liam Neeson’s daughter, I would feel very safe. I found a leaked copy of Outlander but something tells me I should leave that review up to Defender.

Mickey Rourke won best actor at the Indie Spirit Awards and delivered yet another doozie of a speech. He thanks a bunch of Fox Searchlight employees, even though he can’t remember their names (“the little one who I call gap-tooth”). And of course he brings up the scene in The Wrestler where he is “banging a girl in the ass in the bathroom.” Check the video below. If he doesn’t win the Oscar tonight, zombie-Loki is going to eat the brains of the Academy.

This was released a few days ago, I know, shutup, but everyone deserves to see what Chris Brown is capable of if you give him herpes. And then click here to cheer yourself up.

My fucking hero Philip Petit just bolted onto the Oscars stage, performed sleight of hand, and balanced the statue on his chin. I want to pay him to follow me around all day and . And if you haven’t seen Man on Wire, I’m going to send Liam Neeson after you.

Well, dammit. Rourke lost to Sean Penn. No disrespect to Penn, but I have lost all faith in humanity.

Best Picture = Slumdog. No surprise here. But c’mon…Slumdog was good but it wasn’t that good. It was filled with clichés, was implausible, and feels like a fucking cartoon at some points. The Academy loves feel-good, live conquers all bullshit, don’t they?

3 Responses to Monday Morning Wood

  1. defender669 says:

    Mickey Rourke= one bad ass mo fo

  2. probot8 says:

    2010 Oscars: Mickey Rourke nominated for role in movie “The Actor” that chronicles the hardscrabble life of self-abusing actor trying to win the Best Actor award. In the film, Sean Penn co-stars as an actor that beats Rourke out for the award. In real life both are nominated for their roles in the film, Rourke for lead, Penn for supporting. Penn takes home the award, Rourke injects himself with dog DNA…

  3. Steakbomb says:

    At the bottom of the picture it says best male lead and I mistakenly thought it said Best Male Load.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: