That’s right, mang. Danny Trejo, aka Machete, has joined the cast of Slyvester Stallone’s The Expendables. LatinoReview reports that Trejo will most likely be playing the main villian; a South American dictator who can only be stopped by Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, and possibly Ben Kingsley. Add a dash of Forest Whittaker and…I must stop here lest my dick explodes. Oh, how can I forget, the Governor of California is also making a cameo. I need to go lay down.