History Made Today in History: Holiday Mash-ups and Cheating Death

We’ve got all kinds of weirdness going on today, for starters all these holidays are recognized:

International Day Against Female Genital Mutilation. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and humiliation associated with this fucked-up barbaric practice. I thank my lucky stars that I have no recollection of getting circumcised, but knowing that it was done in a hospital by someone who attended medical school makes me feel a little better about someone knifing around down there.

Robot Bites Man Rule of Thumb: mutilation of genitals = completely not cool.

Bob Marley Day in Rastafarianism (Jamaica and Ethiopia) I tried to do some research on this to figure out what exactly goes down on Bob Marley Day, but apparently Rastafarians haven’t gotten around to putting up any info about their holiday on wikipedia. I’ll just assume it doesn’t really differ from any other day as a Rasta; they light up a gigundo spliff, jam out to some Bob, and give praise to Jah Rastafari. Your religion rules.

Waitangi Day (National Holiday) in New Zealand main holiday in New Zealand – also called New Zealand Day. This holiday celebrates the signing of New Zealand’s founding document, the Treaty of Waitangi, in 1840. I’m going to combine my recognition of this holiday by watching the Flight of the Conchords (Formerly New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo) Season 1 DVD that Mars is letting me borrow while participating in the activities of Bob Marley Day and in the process create a new mega-holiday. It’s called Bob-Tangi Day and you’re more than welcome to celebrate it too.

In Birthday News:

1962 – W. Axl Rose, American singer (Guns N’ Roses)

1966 – Rick Astley, British singer

I was interested in seeing what yielded a higher number: the number of people who have been rick roll’d or the number of albums Guns n’ Roses have sold. From my estimates G n’ R total album sales are somewhere between 42-50million (I wasn’t able to find the numbers on The Spaghetti Incident, but it sold significantly less than either Use Your Illusion which both went 7x platinum, so 42 million is the total for Appetite for Destruction (28x) and both Illusions) and on youtube alone 32 million people have been rick roll’d. I don’t know what conclusion I can draw here (that Rick Asterly is better than Axl?!), but it makes me hate rick rolling that much more.

Robot Bites Man Rule of Thumb: If you think surprising us with a Rick Asterly song is a funny prank we will retaliate by Baconing the shit out of you.

In Death News:

1685 – Charles II, King of England, Scotland and Ireland.

This is the only death listed on wikipedia today–apparently it’s an unpopular day to die on. So, if you feel like doing something dangerous, GO FOR IT!!! Chances are that unless your the King of England you probably won’t die.

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