As a professionally trained historian I can’t help but recall the historical events that have taken place on any given date. It’s a party trick I do, someone will be like “Joe, July 4th?” and I’ll inform them that on that day in 1776 the Second Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. Actually, I just realized you can wikipedia the date and get all kinds of cool info about things that went down on that day throughout history.
The events today didn’t really strike me as very comedic so I’ll skip to the birthdays. Raekwon and Zac De La Rocha are both 39 today and Tim Horton, the Canadian hockey player and part founder of the greatest coffee chain on the planet, was born today in 1930. If you have never had a cup of Tim Horton’s coffee, drive to Canada, get one, then turn around and drive home. Don’t worry, the amount of caffeine in that bad boy will keep you jacked up for ride. Apparently there are Tim Horton’s on the South Shore and in Maine, but I think the Canadian version comes with extra crack –it’s worth it.