Official “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” Trailer (With Some “Super” Ranting)

After a month+ long hiatus, RBM welcomes back Defender, our resident mutant-expert.

Am I the only one with super geek mucus pouring out of my noise hole? Thankfully I didn’t have to shell out ten of my well earned green paper rectangles to see this amazing trailer. Some douche thought it’d be a great idea to only show it with The Day The Earth Stood Still. Ass.

’09 is looking to be one amazing year in the world of film, with Wolverine leading the charge (sorry Watchmen). My only gripe with what I’ve seen thus far is Gambit. He is my second favorite mutant (right behind the mighty Thor, of course), and even though we’ve only gotten a small sliver of him in action, he could be either super mega sweet, or queerer than three dollar bill. It’s too damn close to call right now. Sabretooth, on the other hand, looks like they finally got it right this time around.

For those not familiar with Sabretooth, take a lookie look at this clip from X-Men Animated Series. It proves once and for all that the first cinematic take on the big fur ball was a complete waste of time.

By the Gods, May 1st is so close….yet so far away.

The rest of ’09 doesn’t look to promising for those partial to heroes of the super variety. With the epic legal problems keeping Watchmen from it’s anticipated March 6th release, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot of great comic book-esque movies due to come out. A celluloid version of Dragonball will be “spirit bombing” it’s way to theaters, and from the looks of things, we’re in for yet another insulting adaptation of a television show. Piccolo is an albino, Roshi isn’t even that old, and don’t even get me started on the big monkey creature that Goku turns into. You could say that Dragonball isn’t a super hero film, but with the way things are going lately, you might as well put your pride on the shelf and submit. People are looking for anything that’s even remotely heroic these days; so sticking characters that shoot energy balls out of their hands (and yelling a lot in the face of evil), into a film with no real story, isn’t that far off.

Now even though this venting of super heroes, mutants, and weird little Japanese dudes involves movies that are seriously being put out, why not add a “what if?” to the equation? Since the world over has grudgingly accepted the fact that all of the great cartoons from the ’80’s are going to be raped and pillaged, Hollywood might as well take a few classes in Fake Trailer Viewing. The people on Youtube that create those make believe previews deserve some sort of award. Watch this one and try to tell me I’m wrong:

Brad Pitt as Lion-o…as crazy as it sounds, he looked perfect. I don’t even care that the whole thing was clips of other films just spliced together. Every part of that trailer was spot on. Are you writing this stuff down all you directors, writers, and producers of tinsel town? Spend a night scanning the Tube of You, and you’ll thank me.

Some really killer Marvel movies will be blasting, shield clanging, and hammer smashing across the globe soon. But until we get 2009 past us we’re just going to have to sit in our dank nerd caves, jerking our junk to Rogue, Psylocke, or any other costumed heroine that drips with sex, to pass the time.


One Response to Official “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” Trailer (With Some “Super” Ranting)

  1. KRISTEN says:

    Yum, Taylor Kitsch. New tv show crush.

    R.I.P. Sawyer crush
    R.I.P. Jack Bauer crush

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