Pour One Out For: Marie de Jesus, World’s Oldest Woman

mariadejesus

The world is just too much for some people. Maria de Jesus of Portugal, the world’s oldest woman at 115, gave up on Friday. From AP:

Born Sept. 10, 1893, de Jesus was widowed at 57, outlived three of her six children, had 11 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

“Fuck this.” de Jesus stated right after complaining that she has been in constant pain for 30 years.

What a quitter.

There are possibly hundreds of people in places like China and Inida who are much older than this but who have not gotten the attention of the Gerontology Research Group because nobody wants to go to China or India to check. Dr. Stephen Coles of the Geronblahblah Group states that:

“the supercentenarians appear to share one trait that might account for their longevity – they come from families whose members are long-lived.”

(slaps forehead)

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2 Responses to Pour One Out For: Marie de Jesus, World’s Oldest Woman

  1. victorianblood says:

    Don’t the Chinese live to be like 250 years old?

  2. probot8 says:

    I think your thinking of those leatherback turtles, no wait, it is the Chinese.

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