So last week Soulja Boy revealed that he has a game coming out. Tell ‘Em told Complex Blog:

A couple video game companies hit me up on my email because I put the email on there too. And hit me up like, “Blah, blah, blah, blah.” So I was like, “Oh snaps!” … and now we’re doing the video game.

Robot Bites Man is proud to be the world’s first blog to reveal details of the till now top-secret plot. In the game, Soulja Boy is forced to match wits with an evil country music executive that manipulates the time-space continuum to prevent the invention of rap. After banding together with some treasure-hunting dwarves, Soulja uses a map of “time holes” to travel to 16th century Denmark and begin the triangle trade, ensuring that black people eventually arrive in America and take over popular culture.

Fortunately for us, the journey is not so simple and our favorite rapper wreaks havoc at dozens of different historical events, including the Battle of Waterloo, JFK’s assassination, and the 1787 Constitutional Convention (reportedly there’s a minigame which allows players to control the founding fathers as they dance to “Crank Dat”). No word yet on what kind of temporal inconsistencies will be opened up by Soulja Boy’s use of a Segway while he signs the Magna Carta.


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