Axl Rose Continues Reign As World’s Biggest Douche


For a guy whose musical career has been in the toilet for the past 13 years, Axl Rose sure has a lot of nerve.  Not only has it taken him said 13 years to get Chinese Democracy completed, but now he’s back to his old ways of “I’m going to start shit, just cuz I can”.  Follow the jump for the rest of this tale.

As I’m sure most of you are aware, Dr Pepper offered everyone in America one free 20oz soda if GNR released their latest album.  Because so many people raced after their well deserved 23 flavors of heavenly tastey goodness, the site froze.  Dr Pepper added another day to their promotion, that way everyone would be granted their bottle of liquid sex.  Well apparently, Axl “the fuck face” Rose figured that he should be getting cash out of this, so went crying to his lawyers like the little fuck brat he is.


“All is fair in Chinese Democracy, except when the citizens are denied the opportunity to drink what the Dr ordered.

Axl Rose, wholely mum when Dr Pepper announced that it would bestow a free 20-ounce bottle to all Americans when Guns N’ Roses‘ years-in-the-making album finally dropped, is taking the company to task via his attorney after learning that not all customers were served.

The soft-drink slinger had arranged to bestow online coupons to any thirsty freebie-seeker who visited its website on Nov. 23, but the site crashed due to…well, high traffic brought on by people’s insatiable desire for free stuff.”

The promotion was extended for another day, but the site was unreachable for most of it, per Rose.

And despite what surely is Rose’s sympathy for those who have trouble meeting customer demand, his lawyer is calling the attention-getting ploy an “unmitigated disaster which defrauded customers.”

In a letter to Dr Pepper Snapple Group Inc., Beverly Hills-based Alan Gutman demanded that the company extend the promotion and place full-page apologies in the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and USA Today.

Calling the campaign an “exploitation of my clients’ legendary reputation and their eagerly awaited album,” Gutman wrote that “mocking undertones” in the Dr Pepper promotion made for a “raw and damaging commercial exploitation of our clients’ rights,” which was then made even worse by the “shoddy execution of your disingenuous giveaway offer.”

Oh, and the band would like some money now, too.

Threatening further legal action if no reparations are made, Gutman requests “appropriate payment…for the unauthorized use and abuse of their publicity and intellectual property rights.”

UPDATE: In a statement to E! News, a Dr Pepper rep says: “For us, this was a fun giveaway that has always been about the fans, and we’ve taken great steps to fulfill it, including:

•  Extending the window for the giveaway from 24 to 42 hours   • Adding a toll-free line to handle consumer requests for the coupons   • Setting up an interactive voice recorder to accept coupon requests This was one of the largest responses we have ever received for a giveaway, and we’re happy we were able to satisfy the thirst of so many Dr Pepper fans.”

Wow.  Much like some of the people at my recent 10 year high school reunion, Axl hasn’t changed one bit.  Not even a month of sales from his new album, and he’s already bitching about more money.  Eat a dick Rose!  You have no damn clue how lucky you are to even get one shot at fame, let alone a second run.  Please come to the Boston area dude…I have a nice full can of Dr Pepper just waiting to be hucked at that faggoty braided head of yours.  FUCK YOU!

One Response to Axl Rose Continues Reign As World’s Biggest Douche

  1. Gabriel says:

    Playing devil’s advocate here…

    It is the legal responsibility of a copyright and trademark holder to protect your intellectual property. Being the owner of the GnR name, Axl Rose has legal responsibility to protect his marks, otherwise he loses them. Dr. Pepper cannot use his trademarks even to promote a free offering without his approval.

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