They Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used to: 1985-1986 He-Man Float

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is a tradition that’s been around since 1924 but didn’t get cool until 1985 when Mattel premiered the epic He-Man float. Thousands of young boys across the nation lost their minds as Castle Greyskull, She-Ra’s Crystal Castle, and a 50-story snake creature that fogged up half of New York City, came rolling through Manhattan. Beautifully narrated by Dolph Lundgren we watch “He-Man fight the Evil Horde(sounds like he says “battle the evil whore.”-Joe Provost). My favorite part is Sssqueeze casually stepping aside for He-Man and She-Ra’s sonic boom introduction.

Year 2 made a little less sense and features a completely life-less Hordak (must be the tripdephan). It’s seriously two minutes of absolute pandemonium and there’s so much fucking fog you can’t tell what’s going on for most of it. At 1:35, He-Man almost kills the guy playing Skeletor by nearly throwing him under the float. The glorious finale is He-Man giving the giant snake (who seems to be eating peanut butter) a dirty look.

Happy Thanksgiving.


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