Oh, Mars Signing Off For the Weekend

October 10, 2008

The moon shoes really sell this prank. Have a good weekend ya’ll. Thanks for reading.


Latest Twilight Trailer, Buffy For Assholes

October 10, 2008

MySpace has an exclusive HD trailer for Twilight, which looks pretty horrible. Check it out here. I want to hurl the main vampire-boy into the street and kneel on his windpipe. Now, I know some people will argue, “But it’s not targeted at intelligent, sexy twenty-somethings like you. It’s aimed at teen girls and douchebags.” And they’re right. But this is the American internet; and you’re reading my opinion. (Bows and can-cans off stage).

Don’t worry, they’re Express jeans.

Oh Behave! Random Task Charged With Forced Shagging

October 10, 2008

TMZ reports that Joe Son (Random Task in Austin Powers and former UFC fighter before they let Buckcherry’s bass player in the game) has been busted for a rape that occurred back in ’90. In Son’s defense, the girl was dressed as a BLT. Just kidding, he’s a fucking scumbag.

Son pleaded guilty back in May to felony vandalism. The plea required him to fork over a DNA sample. Investigators ran his sample and found Son’s DNA connected him to an unsolved gang rape back in 1990, where a woman was pistol-whipped, raped, threatened with death and eventually blindfolded and released naked.
Son has been charged with five felony counts of rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulation, and one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force. Son faces a maximum sentence of 275 years to life if convicted

Islam Is The Light, According to Little Mommy Cuddle & Coo

October 10, 2008

I saw this on the news this morning and had a good laugh lacing up. Check out the full story here.

This reminds me of the Talking Urkel doll I used to have that would say “Jah, give I strength!”

A New Hope — Star Wars Obama Poster

October 10, 2008

Family Guy Takes Carnegie Hall

October 10, 2008

In more weird theater news, two dates have been booked in November at Carnegie Hall for Family Guy Sings!, from Variety:

“Family Guy Sings!,” set for Nov. 24-25, will feature the cast of Fox’s animated hit in a live perf of two uncensored episodes of the show, along with musical numbers from various episodes and bonus material that never made it to the air.

Thesps will be accompanied by a 40-piece orchestra led by “Family Guy” composer Walter Murphy. The perf will also include a preview of “The Cleveland Show,” the spinoff series bound for Fox next year.

Check out how Seth’s tie matches that hooker’s dress! I’m not a huge Family Guy fan – I find strings of non sequiturs to be tedious after awhile – but this tickles me because it means there is some hope of a Futurama stage production. Theater is cool! Right? Did anyone else go see the Masters of the Universe stage production at Radio City Music Hall back in ’87?

Usher To Play Bucky in Captain America Movie!!!

October 10, 2008

In one of the most shocking and ludicrous casting decisions in the history of the world, R&B heartthrob Usher has been cast as Bucky; Captain America’s sidekick. Variety has the information here. I’m going to go chew my hands off at the wrist.