Sharon Osbourne’s Slut School

In keeping up with the whole “People are sheep and will watch what ever we put on” fad, VH1 has put together the titan of soul suckers. On October 12th, the super skanks from seasons 1 and 2 of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels will be schooled in lessons of harpy screeches, and proper thong etiquette, by Sharon Osbourne. VH1 has this to say:

“Breakout stars from both seasons of Rock of Love will come together under one roof to learn and grow in areas of etiquette, fashion, manners, and moderation. They will be refined in hopes to graduate Charm School as sophisticated and polite ladies. And who better to push these girls down the road to renewal and re-discovery than Sharon Osbourne. As Headmistress of Charm School, Sharon will attempt to strip the girls of their former rebellious and wild ways. And with some help from experts, hopefully transform the girls into fully rockin’ ladies.

The contestants will focus on one lesson a week followed by a demanding test. Whoever doesn’t measure up to the challenges of Charm School will be expelled. In the end, the last one standing will be rewarded with $100,000 to put towards her new and improved life.”

I can just imagine what the curriculum will consist of: “How to embarrass your friends and family in front of millions of people”; “Your yeast infection and you”; “Blow jobs vs Bum sex: a debate”; and finally “Cat fighting 101”.

Is the job market that bad for young ladies that they need to hunt down aged rock stars like Bret Michaels for a few grand? Ladies, if you’re that scraped for cash, there has been a recent vacancy at Castle Camelot. There’s no dental plan, but you won’t have to worry about infestations of the crotchular area.

And since when is Sharon Osbourne the one to teach anyone about being proper? Isn’t she the one who let the world watch her trade f-bombs with her kids and husband?

Good job VH1. Just when I think you can’t suck any more life out of me, you find that one little spark that wants to grow and be happy. Congrats.


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