Thursday Throwbacks: 10/14/2010

October 14, 2010

While fighting the tail-end of a rockin’ cold, I was sitting at work last night monitoring one of my clients when an idea hit me.  The dude was sitting in bed having random episodes of harsh chomping at the open air, followed by a few quick seconds of gnawing on his bottom lip.  He looked like a human piranha in mid feeding-frenzy.  I let that thought percolate in my noodle for the duration of my shift.  It wasn’t until my drive home that the perfect cartoon for today made sense.  Some douche-fuck in a white sedan swerved onto my side of the road, nearly careening head-on into my mighty Ford Focus.  A vision of shark fins popping out of the concrete, chasing that fuck down like the can of sardines he/she is, had me in great spirits throughout the rest of my drive.  Too bad the only way I’ll get to see that happen is by watching today’s cartoon, Street Sharks. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 9/30/2010

September 30, 2010

Mother Nature is a harsh mistress.  Her storms can send houses flying through the air, her earthquakes cause the tallest of buildings to crumble into dust, and her bitter cold seasons have a way of sending more than just retired folk racing for the equator.  Even if you’re a scientist trying to figure out a way to grow trees in the desert, like nature enthusiast/scientist Alec Holland was trying to do, that evil tree-bitch will totally ruin your day.  In Holland’s case, she sent her minions to his swamp-lab to destroy stuff (mostly glass beakers with strange science liquids in them).  Some of the liquids splashed onto him turning him into a massive pile of moss and leaves, hell-bent on protecting that which he became…a mighty Swamp Thing. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 1/7/10

January 7, 2010

Protect the weak, defenseless, helpless, and fight for the general welfare of all.  Basic rules to live by when you’re a chivalrous fuck.  Any man of stout heart should have no trouble abiding by these tenants, yet some fumble constantly.  It’s not their fault; no sir.  Damsels in distress cause more bullshit in the life of a knight than there is bacon on a Wendy’s Baconator. Today’s cartoon will prove that very thing. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 12/10/09

December 10, 2009

Time travel.  The one subject that tickles my taint more than mythology.  Every time I watch a film/show where people (or a person) tear the fabric of space a new one, my mind becomes a whirling dervish of zany ideas.  Like pantsing Abe Lincoln right before he’s shot, or (in my case) going back to California in the hay-day of metal so you can hit up every good show that has ever happened.  The possibilities are endless! Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 12/3/09

December 3, 2009

As I sit in my room, gazing out my rain splattered windows, it occurred to me that not everybody enjoys days like this.  Because I’m such a fantastic fellow and get off on making the ladies happy, I feel it’s my duty to bring colorful wonder into their lives on such a dreary day.  Dig out those rainbow thigh-highs from the bottom of your closets, girls.  Here comes Rainbow Brite. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 11/19/09

November 19, 2009

“Form feet and legs!  Form arms and body!  And I’ll form, THE HEAD!”

Man, it must suck to live in a far off galaxy.  No matter what planet you live on, you’re on constant alert for strange monsters, swarms of space crafts, and evil alien warlords that are hell bent on conquering every inch of the universe. King Zarkon (one of the rulers of the Drule Empire) happens to be one of those warlords.  But in order for him to accomplish the feat that villains throughout space have been working on since the beginning of time, Zarkon must work on a few things.  First, he needs to gather a mighty army (a little old school flyering should take care of that).  Second, Zarkon must train his collection of ghastly robeasts so they’re in peak physical condition.  Lastly, the evil prick has to bust through the one robotic wall that stands between him and total domination….Voltron: Defender of the Universe. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 11/12/09

November 12, 2009


In a world of flying cars, digital dogs, and cyber security guards, there’s bound to be a few rogue robots.  Dr. Light, that heart of gold scientist who paved the road to hell with good intentions, is in a bit of a bind.  His old high school lab partner, Dr. Wily, has stolen a few of Light’s non-union droids and reprogrammed them for destruction.  Who can protect us from a robot with scissors on his head, another that hurls Mario bombs at us, one that creates electricity balls of death, and an android version of The Hulk?  Well have no worries folks, Dr. Light has crafted us a hero.  He’s the ultimate boy in blue, with an arm cannon that can “borrow” other robot’s weapons.  They call him Mega Man.  Let’s watch some of his adventures. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: Halloween Edish

October 29, 2009


Around this time of the year, monsters are given a one day pass to the zany amusement park that is our realm.  To make sure these creatures of chaos don’t recognize us, we dawn fabricated malformations to blend in with the horrific horde.  But what do these life forms do throughout the rest of the year?  RBM sent a team of “volunteers” into the dark places that breed creepy crawlies (closets, under the bed, toilets and what not).  Only one returned, bringing with him information that will astound the scientific community.  Monsters, ghouls, creatures, fiends, and hellions go to school to learn new ways to scare the pants off us. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 10/15/09

October 15, 2009


Imagine, if you will, a world rampant with danger.  A land where turtles have wings, large bullets leer at you as they race towards your doomed ass, and a fire breathing Godzillian dictator sits comfortably in his throne of power.  Sounds like quite the shitty place to spend your well earned holiday time, don’t it?  Well, things weren’t always this bad.  Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 10/8/09

October 8, 2009


As children, most of us had the funtastic experience of waiting in long lines, ascending many ramps/stairs, with the soul purpose of getting strapped tightly into seats that were attached to metallic death mobiles.  The “fun” came when these death mobiles slowly pulled you up gargantuan hills of wood/metal, gave you a split second flash of your rather short life, then sent you rocketing to your doom down the other side (at speeds that challenge The Flash) while tossing hair-pin turns (and more hills) in your path before safely returning you to your nervous parents. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 10/01/09

October 1, 2009


Some times some crimes go slipping through the cracks.  But these two gumshoes are picking up the slack.  There’s no case too big, there’s no case too small, when you need help just call…furry woodland creatures dressed in people clothes. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 9/17/09

September 17, 2009


High school suck wampa dong.  There’s no way around it.  Wedgies, ass loads of home work, clique formations, senior harass-a-freshman sessions, proms; it’s the biggest headache you’ve ever had, only it lasts 4 years (for those who manage to graduate, that is).  But what if the opportunity arose where you could dump your crappy day-prison and attend a cooler one…IN OUTER SPACE?!!!! Super jock Doyle and Bookworm Aimee got such an invitation. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 9/10/09

September 10, 2009


He can sneeze with his eyes open, drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls, and once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger by yelling “BANG!”.  A demi-god by his own making, Chuck Norris is the most powerful being on this planet, as well as every other one in the universe.  Many other puny mortals have tried to attain the omnipotence that Chuck Norris has, only to be knocked into extinction by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 9/3/09

September 3, 2009


Because Vince McMahon has assimilated every professional wrestling organization, stole themes that made said wrestling organizations unique, and can’t go a single month with out advertising a Pay-Per-View event, wrestling fucking blows now.  Things weren’t always like this. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 8/27/09

August 27, 2009


Since the first time Billy Everyteen hooked up his home version of PONG to the family television set, adults that can’t stand to see children enjoy themselves have been professing the dangers of video games.  Even though us “kids” refuse to believe the vicious lies being shoved down our throats, we blindly play for hours on end.  We at RBM have stumbled upon a rather interesting article from the Northridge High School news paper that claims some video games may be extremely dangerous. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 8/20/09

August 20, 2009


When looking back at ’80s cartoons, and the way they portray future technology, it’s rather bittersweet.  Old feelings of wonder resurface, yet they get pummeled back into oblivion when we are reminded of how far from technological cartoon cool we still are.  Most of the world figured that by this time we would at least have cool jet-packs of some sort.  But the only one capable of commanding such equipment is Chuck Fucking Norris.  Plasma cannons; none.  teleportation platforms; yeah right.  I would even settle for a super propelled scuba suit, but that would be asking for way too much. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 8/6/09

August 6, 2009


People who have ass loads of money, during these rough economic times, make me so mad that there aren’t enough God Of War games to channel my rage.  There is one bespectacled bastard who takes the word wealthy to a disgusting level.  He doesn’t keep his coinage in stocks, bonds or Swiss bank accounts, like most booming beaus.  No SIR!  This moneyed mallard holds his earnings in a titanic safe for the world to look upon in envy.  Don’t know who I’m talking about?  One more hint.  It is rumored that this duck of the dollar dawns a swim-cap and suit, then dives head first into his gains for a little swanky swimming.  Scrooge McDuck is his name, big bucks is his game, and he’s the subject of today’s cartoon.  Let’s take a trip down McDuck Drive for a few episodes of Ducktales. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 7/23/09

July 23, 2009


Many things suck in this world; American Idol, diseases, finding out the girl you’ve been hitting on all night is a guy, etc.  But there are certain things that suck so much that they cause catastrophic events to occur.  Terrible thunderstorm…suck.  Swerving off the road to miss getting hit by a bolt of lightning…super suck.  Crashing into a top secret government lab…mega suck.  Flying into the path of a molecular transfer ray, and transforming into a sports car…EPIC SUCK!!  All of these mishaps are the preamble to a show that has been forgotten by most of the world.  It’s name is Turbo Teen. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 7/9/09

July 9, 2009



Like guys in costumes, running around like madmen, trying to save the day from bad bad minions of evil, do ya?  Well my friends, The Tick is an epic tale:  true friendship, heart stopping danger, men and women in tights makin’ the rules and breakin’ ‘em!!!  So why am I wasting time with jibberjabber, let’s watch some episodes of one of the greatest shows to ever super punch it’s way onto the airwaves. Read the rest of this entry »

Thursday Throwbacks: 7/2/09

July 2, 2009



Don’t get yer boxers in a bunch, just yet.  Patience, my little ankle-biters.  Being super tired, like I am now, makes it very hard to think up a good cartoon for you nuts.

In order to keep you freaks on your toes, I’ve decided to throw a hefty animated wrench into your morning routine.  This show deals with the heart-breaking tale of Scott Howard, his friends/family, and an affliction that causes more problems than a cat in heat.  One could say it’s a great metaphor of a dude having puberty run him over with a freight train.  So say “BIT ME!” to the vampire fad, this dreary morning, and wolf-out to some Teen Wolf: Read the rest of this entry »


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