So, it’s that time of year, again, when we get to see a dirty, half-drunk Santa dressed up and ringing a bell outside of the local shopping centers in honor of the Salvation Army. Before you reach into your pocket and pull out that handful of change and pocket lint, take a minute to read this post! If you are like me, then you want to do what you can to help change the world, but at the same time, you don’t want to help make it suck more. While the Salvation Army has helped out many many people, they have also turned their backs on many people in need… for instance: THE ENTIRE GAY COMMUNITY! That’s right, I said it. The Salvation Army is anti-homosexuality! Now, put that change back in your pocket! I have done my homework and have located lots of other charities where your money would be much more appreciated, such as Habitat For Humanity (which has a Christian background, but discriminates against no one).
Every year around late October, I start getting the same question from parents who visit the video game store that I work in. ”What’s the big present, this year?” Sometimes it’s out of curiosity, but more often than not, it’s because they want to know what to expect when they ask their kids what they want Santa to bring this year. Honestly, it flatters me that parents trust me with picking out the “big present under the tree.” See, I know I have outstanding taste in entertainment, and I have the mind of a 12-year-old, so they can expect me to give a clear picture of what I expect to sell very well each year. It helps that I get to try most of these games out before they release, and the fact that I spend lots of time corralling children in my store only adds to the fact that I’m aware of what’s the popular thing at any given time. So, because I’ve been asked by a close friend what the heck they should get for their heard of children (and I’m not kidding, there’s A LOT of kids in that household), I’ve compiled a list of recommendations. Read the rest of this entry »
Since most dopes think this is a sequel/remake, I’m not as bothered as I should be (mostly due to the fact that I have a brain in my head and know my Carpenter movies). Even the fact that it was created by the same shit-heads that made the atrocious Dawn of the Dead remake hasn’t deterred me. This looks like it’s going to be fantastic as hell. Read the rest of this entry »
No amount of prayers will help your movie, Momoa
Since the colossal success of The Lord of the Rings, studio execs have been trying to bank on the grand-scale epicness perfected by Peter Jackson. He managed to take the works of Tolkien to a level never dreamed possible while sticking true to the story and pacing them beautifully. Why other directors can’t follow suit is beyond me. These days they feel the need to bombard their audiences with quick/random cuts, grand swooping shots from the sky, and random scenarios that seem to say “hey, what do ya think of this?”. Sadly, the 2011 take on the classic epic Conan: The Barbarian did just that. Read the rest of this entry »
That’s right folks, it was 20 years ago today that Canadian animator/maniac John Kricfalusi warped the minds of 10-12 year olds across the globe. Never before had toilet humor and outlandish violence been captured so beautifully as it was with the help of an asthma-hound chihuahua and a semi-retarded cat. But if it wasn’t for the disturbing nonsensical chaos that Ren & Stimpy provided, I probably wouldn’t be the jolly ole Viking that I am today. Read the rest of this entry »
“Weird Al” Yankovic: Perform This Way
I’ve always been more of an old-school Al fan. Even though his recent albums are funny as all hell, I still don’t dig the bands he’s been parodying. But this new video makes my nostalgic heart feel like it’s stuck in a closet with Vanna White every time I hear this killer new shit from that lanky madman with the curly hair. He managed to rock my face off and disturb me for life all in the span of 15 seconds. Well played good sir. Well played.
It’s going to be hard for them to top T2, but if you ask me this T-X looks to be one bad ass mother eff.