Defender Discusses “DAYBREAKERS”

Let’s face it, vampires have been done to death these days.  Everything from turning them into sparkly sissies, giving them an HBO series, and having them go toe-to-toe with a former president has been churned out of tinsel-town lately.  Frankly, I’m sick of it.  They’re everywhere these days and they totally suck…and not in the awesome way.  I was beginning to lose hope that there would never be a truly great vampire movie again.  DAYBREAKERS changed all that.

“Evil Dead” Remake Red Band Trailer

Welp…I’m gonna go kill myself.

The Hobbit: A Most Expected Face-Melting

It certainly makes my nerd balls swell to know that this film finally got it’s shit together.  Let’s just hope we get to see it before that 2012 prediction comes to fruition.  Damn Mayans.  They should just buy a new damn calendar, if you ask me.  Those things are quite cheap and have cute pictures of cats doing adorable things on them.

BANEs, Bats, & Cats: Trailer For “The Dark Knight Rises”

By now the entire world has been made aware of this trailer’s existence.  But I am mostly to blame for the lack of promptness and all around good humor that you all have come to expect from RBM.  Lots of booze and not enough sleep will cause such problems. 

Trapped Under Ice: Red-Band Trailer For “The Thing” Prequel

Since most dopes think this is a sequel/remake, I’m not as bothered as I should be (mostly due to the fact that I have a brain in my head and know my Carpenter movies).  Even the fact that it was created by the same shit-heads that made the atrocious Dawn of the Dead remake hasn’t deterred me.  This looks like it’s going to be fantastic as hell. 

Conan: The Dumb-barian

No amount of prayers will help your movie, Momoa

Since the colossal success of The Lord of the Rings, studio execs have been trying to bank on the grand-scale epicness perfected by Peter Jackson.  He managed to take the works of Tolkien to a level never dreamed possible while sticking true to the story and pacing them beautifully.  Why other directors can’t follow suit is beyond me.  These days they feel the need to bombard their audiences with quick/random cuts, grand swooping shots from the sky, and random scenarios that seem to say “hey, what do ya think of this?”.  Sadly, the 2011 take on the classic epic Conan: The Barbarian did just that.

New Terminator Trailer

It’s going to be hard for them to top T2, but if you ask me this T-X looks to be one bad ass mother eff.

Caught In The Middle: An “X-Men:First Class” Review

One would assume that since MARVEL now has the power to make their own films they’d be able to make flawless comic book movies.  Not so.  Many would simply forget about the Fantastic Four flub, Ghost Rider‘s gaffe, and Electra‘s err…not me.  A good handful of spot on renditions have come to the screen to prove that it can be done correctly.  It just sucks when someone only goes half way.  I just didn’t think the people behind X-Men:  First Class would be in that category.

Song Of The Day: Friday The 13th Edish

Alice Cooper:  He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask)

How could I let a Friday the 13th slip by without listening to this song?  Sure it’s from one of the lesser Friday movies, but you simply can’t ignore how awesomely amazing this tune is.

“THOR”: Norse Gods And A Demented Defender

I know what you’re thinking.  “This guy has problems.”  Well, if by problems you mean a strong desire to be awesome, then you’re correct.  Not many people have the balls to fully embrace something they love to the extent that I do, and that’s a shame.  Why wouldn’t you want to absorb might, strength, and power into your daily lives?  The Norsemen had the right idea, so grow a pair and live life the Viking way!  MARVEL studios has been doing just that, and THOR is all the proof you need.

11-11-11 Will Be Chalk Full Of “Immortals”

I haven’t heard anything about this movie until today.  As awesome as this looks, it pains me that they totally ripped off the ranger’s weapon from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.  I like to think this dude plucked it from the charred remains of Hank then had his way Sheila “the thief”. 

“Jennifer’s Body” Puts The SUCK In Succubus

Waiting for the hype of new films to die out is kind of my thing.  I stress out enough thinking about how much of my gut is sticking out of the bottom of my t-shirt, so spending two hours in a packed theater with hormone riddled high schoolers and overly excited nerds is something I can do without.  Every now and then a film gets released that requires me to dawn my armor and venture forth, but Jennifer’s Body wasn’t one of ‘em.

“Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” Trailer

It’s been a good 10 years since Tim Burton grabbed the world by the scruff and drove it face-first into a steaming pile of monkey spunk that was his remake of the classic Planet of the Apes.  Some have forgiven the dreary director, but I for one have not.  Sure, his rendition was closer to the story the original that Apes was based off of.  That doesn’t give him the right to do what he did.  The stink of Paul Giamatti will never go away, despite the hours of vigorous scrubbing.

Mortal Kombat Mania: Part II, Legacy

So, as many of my friends are aware, I have been looking forward to the first episode of the new web series, Mortal Kombat: Legacy.  First off, I want to say that I have had a total girl-crush on Jeri Ryan for some time (Voyager brought that on, of course), and while I thought that she might be a little too “mature” to be playing a 20-something Sonya Blade, I thought that she filled the role nicely based on the first episode and she’s as beautiful and intense as ever.  Michael Jai White fills the role of Jax near perfection.  I was ecstatic to see Tahmoh Panikett (Helo in Battlestar Gallactica) as Stryker.  I have to say, I wasn’t super impressed with the choice of Kano for an antagonist, and I was equally turned off by Darren Shahlavi’s (Watchmen) acting, but I’m not blaming him, they couldn’t have picked a worse bad guy to start the series.  What an uninteresting choice?!?!

Volstagg: The Not-Quite-Voluminous

“DAMN THEE, DIET!”

There is much excitement in the nerd community surrounding the new THOR movie that’s due out soon.  As awesome as the trailer is, a “small” problem has been brought to my attention.  Turns out the portly powerhouse Volstagg has been poorly cast.  I know, I know.  How hard could it be to cast a large and in-charge warrior from the halls of Asgard?  Harder than you’d think, apparently.

Song Of The Day: 3/16/2011

Limahl – Never Ending Story

As if I wasn’t already feeling quite epic today, this song just amplifies the epicness.

Strike A Poster, Steve Rogers!

I guess ole Cap will be taking a little side-quest to Silent Hill at some point.  I’d totally watch that.

“X-Men: First Class” Trailer

Is it possible that someone has actually made an X-Men movie the right way?  This looks quite good.  But I thought that same thing about the Wolverine film.  Fingers, start your crossing.

Trailer For “Captain America: The First Avenger”

Damn.  I have to admit, this looks quite awesome.  The thought of The Human Torch being cast as ole Cap had me quite mad.  But after seeing this, I think I’ll be okay with it.

Pour One Out For: Charles Sellier Jr.

Most of the dudes and dudettes of my generation have probably never heard the name Charles Sellier Jr.  Those who have, they know that he was the creator of the early 70′s character Grizzly Adams both in books and for the small screen.  Fans of 80′s horror films know him best as the director of the most controversial holiday slasher film to date, Silent Night Deadly Night.  Me being a huge horror fan, it was a real bummer when I hit up DreadCentral.com this morning and found out that Sallier passed away this past Monday.