Beldar For RBM

Pour One Out For: “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott 8/20/1966 – 12/8/2004

It happened 5 years ago, this very day.  Damageplan was playing a show at the Alrosa Villa in Columbus, Ohio when tragedy struck.  A crazed fan (most likely full of self hate, and probably a few months behind on his rent) stormed the stage and shot guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott. 

Heavy Metal Monday: 12/7/09

Bitter winds and frozen melted snow await the world this frigid December morning.  Not only does a combination of such total shit help make an already crap day worse, it also happens to be dangerous when operating a vehicle.  Start your car early, then watch a little video vixen that is sure to fire up your internal engines while the one outside warms up. 

Thursday Throwbacks: 12/3/09

As I sit in my room, gazing out my rain splattered windows, it occurred to me that not everybody enjoys days like this.  Because I’m such a fantastic fellow and get off on making the ladies happy, I feel it’s my duty to bring colorful wonder into their lives on such a dreary day.  Dig out those rainbow thigh-highs from the bottom of your closets, girls.  Here comes Rainbow Brite.

Brokeback Iron Man

They were the best of friends, battling crime in hi-tech battle armor.  Now there’s a different spark powering these two.  A spark called love.

Heavy Metal Monday: 11/30/09

There are a few people in my life that give me the stink eye when I talk metal with them.  Part of this reason, so I have learned, is due to the fact that I seriously can’t stand Power Metal.  Ever since ManOwaR exploded over in Europe, every ass-clown with a guitar and a can of product has tried to take their idea of epic music to ridiculous proportions. 

Thanksgiving Throwbacks: The Cosby Show

As soon as your gut is full to the point of bursting, and your brain has reached sleepy mode, Thanksgiving law dictates you watch either lots of football or some sort of television program.  With today being that most glorious of eating days, why not sit down with one of America’s most beloved sitcom families:  The Cosbys.

Thanksgiving Throwbacks: Home Improvement

Well world, we’re just a day away from mammoth mounds of mashed potatoes, a plethora of pies, and a banquet of booze.  Men of all ages are readying their belt loosening muscles, while storing massive amounts of energy to unleash during game time.  With these things in mind, I’ve decided this entry should be about men stuffs and Tim Allen is the only one who can bring it.

Thanksgiving Throwbacks: ROSEANNE

There is no holiday a Viking like me enjoys more than Thanksgiving.  A wonderful time of year when families travel from all over to enjoy glasses of sweet mead, heaping mounds of stuffing, mashed potatoes draped with a mighty slice of cheese, not to mention the succulent appeal of juicy drumsticks.  It’s enough to give a eunuch a hard on.  But while us folk in the real world are enjoying the feast of a lifetime, our favorite tv families are doing the same though on a slightly more wacky level.  Something tells me Hollywood sends spies to my family’s events for script ideas.

Product Of The Week

Are you one who fancies great footwear, or are simply nostalgic as all hell?  If you are either of these, have I got the product for you.  Reebok has joined forces with World Events Productions, bringing a legendary defender roaring back to life in shoe form.

How cool would you look sauntering down the hallways of work, dawning one of 5 different  pairs of shoe-cats on your feet.  You heard me correct.  Reebok took some of their classic styles and gave them the likeness of each mechanical feline that forms Voltron:  Defender of the Universe.

Song Of The Day

Katy Perry: Hot N Cold

Sweet zombie Jesus, I love this chick.

Thursday Throwbacks: 11/19/09

“Form feet and legs!  Form arms and body!  And I’ll form, THE HEAD!”

Man, it must suck to live in a far off galaxy.  No matter what planet you live on, you’re on constant alert for strange monsters, swarms of space crafts, and evil alien warlords that are hell bent on conquering every inch of the universe. King Zarkon (one of the rulers of the Drule Empire) happens to be one of those warlords.  But in order for him to accomplish the feat that villains throughout space have been working on since the beginning of time, Zarkon must work on a few things.  First, he needs to gather a mighty army (a little old school flyering should take care of that).  Second, Zarkon must train his collection of ghastly robeasts so they’re in peak physical condition.  Lastly, the evil prick has to bust through the one robotic wall that stands between him and total domination….Voltron: Defender of the Universe.

Song Of The Day

One Winged Angel (metal version)

I’ve never had the time, nor the patience, to play through Final Fantasy VII.  However, this music kicks some serious ass.

Defender And OhMars Gear Up

Ever wonder how Lord OhMars and I pump ourselves up to entertain all you nutters?

Facing the outside world in epic fashion is the mark of a true warrior.  If you don’t start your day off with this much might, you’re a gay.

Heavy Metal Monday: 11/16/09

How do you make heavy metal heavier?  With fucking power tools, of course!  Jesse James Dupree rigged the family chainsaw with a device that allows its wielder to alter the sounds of the saw, creating noises that are similar to music.  This will come in handy during those late night hootenannies on the farm.  A chainsaw would sound beautifully with a washboard player, a jug blower, and slack-jawed yokels tapping their bare calloused feet on the porch while chickens run wild.  I’m willing to bet he thought this up while on a moonshine binge, trying to find new and interesting ways to glorify the lifestyles of being a redneck.  Follow the jump to see white trash at it’s finest.

Song Of The Day

Anna-Lucy: Baby (Your Love Inside)

Wondering why I chose this song?  Go watch The Wiz Kid (or Bodo – Eine ganz normale Familie as it’s called in German) and you’ll understand.

“Clash Of The Titans” Trailer

I hate to admit it, but this actually looks quite fantastic.  I can’t wait to see what the Kraken looks like.

The BEERFEST Boys Bang Out Another One

Super Troopers, AWESOME! Club Dread, not so good.  BEERFEST, fan-fuck-tastic!  What’s next from the bad asses of Broken Lizard?  Slammin’ Salmon, that’s what.

Thursday Throwbacks: 11/12/09

In a world of flying cars, digital dogs, and cyber security guards, there’s bound to be a few rogue robots.  Dr. Light, that heart of gold scientist who paved the road to hell with good intentions, is in a bit of a bind.  His old high school lab partner, Dr. Wily, has stolen a few of Light’s non-union droids and reprogrammed them for destruction.  Who can protect us from a robot with scissors on his head, another that hurls Mario bombs at us, one that creates electricity balls of death, and an android version of The Hulk?  Well have no worries folks, Dr. Light has crafted us a hero.  He’s the ultimate boy in blue, with an arm cannon that can “borrow” other robot’s weapons.  They call him Mega Man.  Let’s watch some of his adventures.

Song Of The Day

Genesis: Land of Confusion

I think “WHAT THE FUCK?!” says it all.

Heavy Metal Monday: 11/09/09

When tooling around town with your buds, the rule of thumb is to keep the windows down with a kick ass metal song blasting fucking LOUD.  Some would say that any old song will do, but they’d be wrong.  DEAD wrong.  In my 12 short years as a licensed driver, many a tune has come thundering out of my vehicle to annoy the locals.  However, there is one song in particular that stands above the rest for all time car rocking out anthems, and it is none other than Start The Fire.