Lesbo Lohan

Put your boners away kids, it appears that Hollywood attention whore Lindsay Lohan has joined the other team boys.  Fresh from Eonline.com:

“After months of hints, Lindsay Lohan has finally confirmed the worst-kept secret of the year: she and constant companion Samantha Ronson are, in fact, a couple.

Lohan and Ronson have been living together since May, but have played coy about the nature of their relationship. Lohan jokingly referred to Ronson as her “girlfriend” back in July during one of Ronson’s DJ gigs, saying, “My girlfriend won’t play my songs.”

Wow, looks like gods finally decided to save us fellas.  Lock up yer daughters, there’s a Lohan on the loose. And in this humble blogger’s opinion, she can do better.

FALL TELEVISION PREVIEW

Terminator: The Shirley Manson Chronicles
The lead singer of Garbage plays a Robertpatrickbot with an unintelligible accent hell bent on reminding John Connor that she ever existed.

Prison Break
When even your television show’s star (who knows that he’ll never work again once the show ends) says this should be the last season, maybe it’s time to pack it in.

Heroes
Another terrible horrible awful season of Heroes kicks off with a cameo by rapper Cam’ron as the pink-clad Menstrual Avenger (no homo).

To Catch a Predator Action Figures, Wave 1

From Hot Toys:

“Let’s dance with our Michael Jackson 12″ collectible figure (Billie Jean / History Tour version) – Yes, you’re not dreaming! It is him! Our next M ICON will be MICHAEL JACKSON – who is the first African-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV in 80′s. His popular song “Billie Jean” was credited for transforming the music video into an art form! This brought to life MJ action figure features his original costume from the History Tour performance with his trademarked single sequined white glove. Moreover, this figure will be using our newly developed body figure – TrueType Slim Version to fit MJ’s original body shape.”

If the figure itself isn’t whisky-inducing enough, check out its accessories after the jump…

Former Aquabats Drummer Travis Barker Survives Plane Crash, Aquabats Rush to Bedside

Former Aquabat Baron Von Tito (Travis Barker) survived a horrendous plane crash using what superpowers he had left. Von Tito drummed for the supergroup before joining power-pop group Blink One Hundred and Eighty Two. The Aquabats rushed to Barker’s bedside using their “Super Rad!” powers and are currently doing their best to heal Barker with the help of a cat with two heads.

Jimmy Smits Gets Emotionally Charged, Stabs Dude on Set of Dexter

Dexter star Michael C. Hall screamed in horror “Stop! Stop! Stop!” as fellow actor Jimmy Smits stabbed another actor repeatedly in the chest with a real knife on the set of their hit show.

The shocking September 5 incident [don't ask me why we're only hearing about it now] occurred after a real knife was mistakenly placed next to a theatrical prop knife.

“During a horrific execution scene with actor Jeff Chase, Smits was so into the part he kept stabbing Chase ferociously with what he thought was a fake knife,” a shaken eyewitness told the Enquirer…

Smits was so caught up in the emotionally charged scene, it took him about 16 seconds to stop. “By a miracle, Chase escaped without a cut because he had a protective chest plate on underneath his clothes,” said the source. (Via Celebitchy)

Honest mistake, folks. Like putting your shoes on the wrong feet, buying the wrong type of fabric softener, or punching yourself in the dick instead of answering your phone.

The Sims Movie — I Get it Now

This aint your father’s Sims, pussy. When I first heard they were making a movie based on The Sims videogames I thought, “Hey, that’s a horrible idea.” But producer John Davis made me see the light:

“The Sims, as you know, you can control your imaginary world, right? And our movie, a young man, a 16 year old kid of a 14 year old kid and his friend get their hands on this thing called the Sims Infinity Pack, right, which kind of this very strange video game store which was there just for that moment, and seemingly wasn’t all that. But what they realize is that they can scan their world in, because this is the most life like, real Sims game ever. And as they are playing this they are all of a sudden realizing is what they are playing on the game is having an effect on the real world. So in effect, through the game, they are able to control their world. It’s wish fulfillment, and obviously it turns against them.”

Now that it sounds more like a Twilight Zone episode, I’m on board.

Do You Remember…?

While scanning youtube this morning, a few cartoon intros caught my eye.  Here ya go:

A Breath Of Fresh Vikings

Even though the new Amon Amarth album isn’t due to be released in the states for another week or two, we need our asses kicked right now.  Here’s the video for Twilight of the Thunder God.  Enjoy.

Heroes Drops the F’N Ball

After almost a year, and a writer’s strike, Heroes made its return to NBC last night. Even if I had the ability of super intelligence, there is no way I could describe just how utterly rank that two hour shit-fest was. It was as if they held a meeting and said “Ok people, we left a perfectly good opening for season 3 on the table, before the strike. Let’s brainstorm on how to totally destroy everything that was beautiful about the show.” Well my little snowflakes, that’s just what they did.