New W. Trailer Makes Us Wanna Scream

September 30, 2008

Looks like we can blame “Alexander” on Jordan Catalano. Oliver Stone still rules.


New Kanye West Single Is All Kinds of Awesome

September 30, 2008

Love Lockdown


Morale Booster

September 30, 2008

I needed that.


Oh Hell Nah — Eagle Eye Co-Writers Penning Blade Runner 2?

September 30, 2008

From/Film

“I recently attended a Q&A session with one of the writers of ‘Eagle Eye’ after a free screening organized by the magazine Creative Screenwriting. During the Q&A, the writer said that he and whomever it was that helped him co-write the ‘Eagle Eye’ screenplay were in the process of writing a sequel to Blade Runner, and had already contacted the producers of the original, etc., etc. This is probably a load of empty words/wishful thinking on his part, but I for one am appalled by just the notion of a Blade Runner sequel, and thought you’d be as well, so I thought perhaps you’d like to look into this yourself and perhaps use your soapbox to get some fanboys a little pissed, as well. If not, then at least you have a scoop.”

If there is any movie that does not deserve a sequel it’s Blade Runner; in my opinion not just the greatest science fiction film of all time, but the greatest film of all time (those of you who know me know I don’t play on this subject). Now before we all go and pound a bathtub of Jim Bean, keep in mind no production company has signed on for this. Hopefully all of the damning reviews of Eagle Eye will keep any studio from ever doing so. I’ve already been kicked in the nuts by you once this week Eagle Eye, what else do you want from me!?!?


Economic Bailout, Plan B

September 30, 2008

“There’s no question the economy is facing a difficult crisis that needs to be addressed,” said White House spokesman Tony Fratto, who two hours earlier had predicted the legislation would pass. “And there’s no question Bauer is our last hope.”

“Tell me where the economic bailout is NOW!” stated CTU agent Jack Bauer after tying a Wall Street broker to a chair and partially suffocating him with a plastic bag. “Damn it!”


Jesse “The Reality” Ventura

September 30, 2008

From duking it out in the squared circle to reigning supreme as the governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura can do it all.  Not even unleashing an arsenal of hell on hunters from outer space can slow this mutha down.  Well “The Body” has set his sights on a new challenge…the world of Reality Television.  Variety.com says:

“The former Navy SEAL, professional wrestler, small-town mayor, actor and governor of Minnesota has struck a deal with truTV to topline a skein that will find him investigating the validity of various conspiracy theories.

“The pilot, from A. Smith & Co. Productions (“Hell’s Kitchen”), begins shooting in October. It will feature Ventura — who also will take a producing credit — traveling to various locales to hear out the claims of skeptics and adherents to a particular conspiracy theory, after which he’ll render a verdict on the alleged phenomenon’s veracity.”

How sweet would it be if he was the guy to crack the “second gunman” theory.


Heroes Heals From Major Boo-Boo

September 30, 2008

So another episode of Heroes was farted onto our laps last night. I would rather have been pondering over why there’s one very long hair on one of my arms instead, but my hands were tied (thank you Ohmars).

To be quite honest with you, my little Thunderkittens, I truly don’t know where I stand with this show anymore. Last week was so bad that NBC came really close to getting a very angry email, chalk full of very dirty words. But last night wasn’t half bad. Read the rest of this entry »


Revolutionary Road Trailer

September 30, 2008

Here’s the trailer for the new Sam Mendes’ film Revolutionary Road, starring Leo and Kate Winslet. Mendes has consistently delivered in my opinion, so I’m amped for this drama. The drama, people, get on board.


Smallville Season 4 Review

September 29, 2008

Say what you want all you comic geeks and super freaks, I like this show. Yes it started back in ’01, putting me way out of the loop and behind the times, but screw it. When you walk into the local Target looking for what the new item on sale is, and find many seasons of different television shows for only eighteen bucks, you don’t hesitate. Getting 4 seasons of Smallville on a whim could’ve ended in disaster. As it turns out, the Gods were with me. That show is awesome, and if you don’t like it, you’re a stupid pants. Read the rest of this entry »


First Look at Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

September 29, 2008

INF Daily has posted some photos from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. Nothing really revealing, but we do get to see what Mia Wasikowska looks like as Alice. It’s been a few years since I’ve read the book, but I don’t remember a huge ship. Still, I’m sort of excited for this.


Final Spirit Trailer, All Kinds of Samuel L.

September 29, 2008

Here’s the final trailer for Frank Miller’s The Spirit, not to be confused with Will Eisner’s The Spirit. The previous trailer was pretty awesome until Samuel-Won’t-Say-No-To-A-Movie L. Jackson showed up. Then shit just got idiotic (no matter what one of my fellow RBM-mates says). This one miraculously stays awesome even after he does. Hardboiled as Raymond Chandler-fried James Ellroy.

They call me The Octopus; I have eight of everything. That’s logic, dummies!


Michael Bay Retards Jason Voorhees.

September 29, 2008

Michael Bay’s production company Platinum Dunes is currently remaking Friday the 13th and is in the works to remake The Birds and A Nightmare on Elm Street. They’ve apparently decided to replace Jason Voorhees with Sloth from The Goonies. Horror Bid has posted tons of spoiler photos from the set. When I say ‘spoil,’ I’m referring to “revealing something before a movie’s release” and “spoiling Jason so that he looks like Toxie/Sloth.”

PS: If you have never been to Michael Bay’s official site, check out the FAQs. They’re hysterical. You cannot have Michael’s email address.

Read the rest of this entry »


Hurley’s Not a Player, He Just Crushes A Lot.

September 29, 2008

I just wanted to clear that up.

Jorge Garcia at the Emmys


Possible Director Of Thor Movie

September 29, 2008

In the midst of my daily scanning for sweet killer news-type things, the dudes and dudettes at Variety.com seriously caught my attention. It looks as if Kenneth Branagh is in talks to direct the yet to be crafted Thor movie. You might remember Branagh as Professor Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and Hamlet. Variety.com states:

“Kenneth Branagh is negotiating to direct Thor, the next Marvel Comics property that will be turned into a live-action film by Marvel Studios. Pic will be released in 2010.Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige’s choice of Branagh is surprising, as Branagh hasn’t really directed an action-heavy film since his debut on Henry V, a bloody telling of the British king’s conquest of France.”

Well now, that’s one item they can scratch off the list. Let’s just hope that they follow in the sorcerer footsteps of Jon Favreau and Chris Nolan when casting for the main character. I do not want to see any professional wrestler playing Thor. All they need to do is take a stroll down any street of Norway or Iceland. It can’t be to hard to spot an overly muscular, blond haired, blue eyed Viking in that setting. Or can it?


Season Premier Of DEXTER “Kills”

September 29, 2008

September 28th, 2008 (or last night to most of you stinkybuttpoopfarts) kicked off season 3 of the hit Showtime series DEXTER. Let me tell you my friends, this is how you start off a season. It stayed on the same pace as the previous two seasons, giving you just enough action, sex, and surprises to leave you wanting more. And let me tell you….I want more. I really do. Read the rest of this entry »


Eagle Eye-Yi-Yi, or Shia LaBeouf, Get a New Agent

September 29, 2008

Duped again! I had wicked high hopes for this one. I’m a sucker for cheap thrills and for that Shia, but I almost walked out of this puppy. (Spoilers Follow)

Read the rest of this entry »


Sexy-Time At Fashion Show

September 26, 2008

Actor Sacha Baron Cohen is a super wizard genius.  Apparently he leaped on the run way during a fashion show dressed as the main character from his new movie.

Yahoo.com had this to say: Read the rest of this entry »


Weekend Kick-Off, George Costanza For the McDonald’s DLT

September 26, 2008

If anyone can find that Zatarain’s commercial with Kramer, get at me. Have a good weekend, pussies.

Send your tips to patrick@robotbitesman.com


Daniel Radcliffe’s Blind Grandmother Dresses Him

September 26, 2008

He is wearing prosthetic hands in this photo, I swear to God.


Forgotten Failures: 9/26/08 Edish

September 26, 2008

Have you ever gone to your local mall and think “wow, they seriously need to beef up the security around this place.”? Well I’ve found a mall that’s way ahead of you. Visit the Park Plaza Mall where the new security force isn’t just tight, it’s terrifying!

Read the rest of this entry »


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