Scientology Auditing Questions

Hello there, may I ask you some questions? You know, just so Scientologists can map your “bad shit.”

• Have you ever debased a nation’s currency?

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?

• Have you ever torn out someone’s tongue?

More actual Scientology Auditing Questions after the jump:

• Have you ever been a professional critic?

• Have you ever wiped out a family?

• Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?

• Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

• Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?

• Have you ever made love to a dead body?

• Have you ever engaged in piracy?

• Have you ever been a pimp?

• Have you ever eaten a human body?

• Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

• Have you ever exterminated a species?

• Have you ever been a professional executioner?

• Have you given robots a bad name?

• Have you ever set a booby trap?

• Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?

• Have you driven anyone insane?

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?

• Is anybody looking for you?

• Have you ever set a poor example?

• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?

• Are you in hiding?

• Have you systematically set up mysteries?

• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?

• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?

• Have you ever gone crazy?

• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?

• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?

• Have you ever smothered a baby?

• Do you deserve to have any friends?

• Have you ever castrated anyone?

• Do you deserve to be enslaved?

• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?

• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

• Have you ever zapped anyone?

• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

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7 Responses to Scientology Auditing Questions

  1. monthly bookkeeping…

    [...]Scientology Auditing Questions «[...]…

  2. heather says:

    are you freaking kidding me??? these people are psychos…..

  3. Anonymous says:

    the guy who wrote this was kidnapped by scientologists and never seen again!

  4. Anonymous says:

    No wonder our country is going to shit! What kind of religion is this that teaches anything goes God help us!

  5. renee says:

    WTF????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Derrick says:

    Im a Scientologest. It’s great it works for me

  7. Megan says:

    You’re all just a bunch of chicken shits.

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