Jettison Your Loved Ones, Featuring Max of Heavyweights

August 30, 2008

A short film featuring Max Goldblatt, which will also help explain his photo included in the interview.

Heavyweights X 300

August 30, 2008

Featuring voiceovers as accurate as the “Seymour Buttz” routine in Heavyweights.

RETURN TO CAMP HOPE. The RBM Exclusive Interview.

August 30, 2008

With the construction of Apatow World underway in Dubai, we as fans, critics, and consumers should back up and examine where it all began for Judd. Before Freaks and Geeks, Knocked Up, and Superbad, rewind to 1995; the year of Waterworld, Batman Forever, and Goldeneye, but who remembers those throwaway, dollar VHS bin blemishes? 1995, brothers and sisters, was the year Disney released Heavyweights. Written by Apatow and Steven Brill (who also directed), Heavyweights is an affectionate, rude, and hee-sterical validation of the camp-comedy genre.

The movie revolves around Gerald Garner (Aaron Schwartz) and his summer at a fat camp, Camp Hope. Gerald is assigned to the Chipmunk Bunk and befriends the dopest group of bunkmates a young man could ever wish for (especially if you’re a Mighty Ducks fan). But their summer of go-karts and candy caches quickly becomes a summer of hell when the Godzilla of fitness takes over the camp, Tony Perkis (Ben Stiller – his image and name mysteriously absent from the movie poster and DVD cover). Pushed to the brink of insanity and hunger, the campers flip the script on Tony by farting in his face followed by duping him into falling in a tiger-pit. What did you do at summer camp? Make a bird feeder out of pinecones and peanut butter? These kids lock their counselor in an electrified cage, play recordings to remind him how skinny his weiner is, and throw the bombest bonfire party E-V-E-R.

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Heavyweights Refresher Course

August 30, 2008

For those who have forgotten the power and the glory…

Brown Christmas

August 30, 2008

Sure, it’s the end of August and Christmas isn’t for another 4 months. So what. While looking for something to keep my lazy ass awake at work, Black Christmas caught my attention. Now this isn’t the 1974 version that the entire world should watch at least once in their life (myself included). The film that was chosen happened to be the much hated re-make. Chastise me all you want cyber nerds, but when you have a collection the size of mine, desperate times call for desperate measures….and I was just plain curious.

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The Sex-Files

August 30, 2008

The following article is courtesy of

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – “X-Filesstar David Duchovny, who currently plays a womanizing writer on the cable television series “Californication,” said on Thursday he has entered a facility for treatment of sex addiction.

Duchovny, 48, sprang to fame starring as the conspiracy-minded FBI agent Fox Mulder on Fox network’s paranormal thriller “The X-Files,” which spawned two big-screen spinoffs, one of which ran in theaters this summer.

He has been married since 1997 to actress Tea Leoni, with whom he has a 9-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son.

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction,” he said in a statement released through his lawyer, Stanton “Larry” Stein. “I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

(funny….who would’ve thought that Fox Mulder, lover of porn, would truly be a sex addict.)

Excuse Me, Are Those Bugle Boy Jeans You’re Wearing?

August 29, 2008

Diamond Select: Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark Ultimate Quarter Scale Figure

(That joke belongs in a museum.)

New Max Payne Trailer is Banana Boats

August 29, 2008

I couldn’t find an HD one, but snoop for yourself.

New LOST Character

August 29, 2008

[CUNNINGHAM] Mid-20s to Early 30s. Any ethnicity. Athletic, used to living outdoors and off the land. He is a loyal soldier but willing to compromise with the enemy to protect his men…VERY NICE CO-STAR. THIS ROLE IS INTRODUCED IN 502 AND HAS 3 SCENES IN 503.

Have a Nice Weekend Kiddies

August 29, 2008


August 29, 2008

I think it is safe to say that over in Asia they make some fucked up films. A few palls, and myself, just watched one of these films. The name of said film is OldBoy.

Never in my life has a film affected me in a way that can’t be described. The closest description that can be made, would be to say that it was disturbing beyond belief. There has never been a movie viewed at Castle Camelot, that makes your mind wrap around itself and say “what on this glorious Earth did I just watch?”.

There is no way to review of a movie of this caliber and do it justice. Saying anything would destroy the integrity of the film, and shatter the veil in front of the eyes of new fans. All that can be said is this…..WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!! It is slow to start, but the ending will blow your mind from here to the ends of the Milky Way.

Blastie from the pastie

August 28, 2008

Lord Ohmars recently posted some video with an epic amount of ’80’s cartoon intros.  Well here’s one that was forgotten, but sure as shit, not by me.

By the Gods, our generation had the best cartoons of all time!

Pedophile Throwback

August 28, 2008

Before the Internet and chat rooms, you really had to do something special to get a young man to take off his shirt and ride you like a lion while his buddy wears a safari hat and takes pictures. Neptune King of the Sea.

Righteous Kill Clip

August 28, 2008 has posted an exclusive clip from the upcoming Jon Avnet (Risky Business) directed Righteous Kill. The screenplay was written by Russell Gewitz (Inside Man) so it should be good. This clip begs to differ. It’s pretty short, granted, but pretty fucking uninspired too.

Check it out here.

Journey at the Center of the Earth

August 28, 2008

Vin Diesel in a Stupid Movie?

August 28, 2008

Apparently, Babylon A.D. director Mathieu Kassovitz thinks the movie he spent 5 years on is “stupid.” He got really heated in an interview with AMC and said he’d be willing to go to war with those pussies at Fox, only they don’t give a shit. This oddly makes me want to see the movie even more now. Read the full article here.

Sharing his resentment towards the -starrer film to AMC, the “” director admitted that it fails to deliver any of the messages it should send to the audience. “It’s pure violence and stupidity,” he said. “The movie is supposed to teach us that the education of our children will mean the future of our planet. All the action scenes had a goal: They were supposed to be driven by either a metaphysical point of view or experience for the characters… instead parts of the movie are like a bad episode of 24.”

Ash, What Was Your Special Order? LEGOS?

August 28, 2008

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Sha-Na-Na-Na On Your Knees! Knees!

August 28, 2008


Federal authorities say they have arrested a blogger suspected of streaming songs from Guns N’ Roses unreleased album, “Chinese Democracy,” on his Web site.

FBI agents arrested 27-year-old Kevin Cogill this morning (Aug. 27) on suspicion of violating federal copyright laws. Federal authorities say Cogill posted nine unreleased Guns N’ Roses songs on in June. The songs were later removed but spread quickly across the Internet.

According to an arrest affidavit, Cogill admitted to agents that he posted the songs on his Web site.

“Chinese Democracy” has been in the works for more than a decade, with frontman Axl Rose the only remaining original member of the once mighty group. Rumblings that the album may finally be out this fall, possibly as a Best Buy exclusive, have not been confirmed by Guns N’ Roses or its management.

Soft Crap Zombies

August 28, 2008

There are an uncountable amount of movies that have been made over the years. Some people remember forever, and others that the world would like to forget. There was a recent viewing at Castle Camelot of one of the latter. I speak of the lost, but vaguely remembered crapfest: Hard Rock Zombies.

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Mutant Chronicles Trailer & Poster

August 27, 2008

In my youth, I dabbled in Warhammer (Dungeons & Dragons for those who require visuals). But my real steez was Mutant Chronicles. This was my gateway drug into the Mutant Chronicles CCG. Then they released an okay video game called Doom Troopers (shitty name). The idea of corporations going to war was pretty dang prophetic and the creature designs were rad.

I had no idea they were making this movie. Scottish director Simon Hunter (Lighthouse) hasn’t really popped his Hollywood cherry yet, this may do it for him. I can’t really tell because I can’t see a fucking thing in this trailer. Nor do I see any monsters. I feel robbed already. Early reviews have called it a good mix of Sin City & 300 with a Cold War theme.


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